Finchel Forever Chasing You
by Finurtchel
Summary: With Rachel having a new boyfriend, Finn tries all he can to win her back and make up for all the mistakes he made in the past. Will Rachel ever be his again and what obstacles lie in their path? Back 9 speculation.
1. You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

**~Hey everyone! Like my other story, I wrote this one a few months ago but haven't gotten around to posting it on here until now. Slack, aren't I? Anyway, this is just my Finn/Rachel speculation of the back 9 episodes, when I knew spoilers but didn't know exactly what was going to happen. I'm not going to upload it all at once though, because there are a couple of things I just want to change to make the story flow a bit more. There is going to be a sequel so stay tuned and enjoy! ~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Glee.**

**Chapter One: You Say Good-Bye, I say Hello **

The auditorium was fueled with a sudden silence as Rachel ran out of sight after the last notes of 'Hello, Good-bye.' Every member of New Directions stared after her; some bemused and some curious as to what had caused her to walk out on them.

But no one was as affected by her unexpected flee than one Finn Hudson, whose hurt and confused eyes did not stray from the spot where she had disappeared. As everyone else lost interest and looked up expectantly at Mr. Schue, who was so busy looking down at his desk deep in thought that he did not notice them, Finn's mind whirled.

Under no pretenses could he understand what had just happened. He had expected that after singing this song to her, after sharing that musical connection they had always had together again, she would definitely decide to be his girlfriend again. But he had been wrong. Very, very wrong. What'd he'd expected had not happened all and he had no idea how or why Rachel had resisted him so easily.

Their earlier conversation by the lockers flashed in his mind. As soon as Rachel told him she'd split with Jesse, he'd seen that silver lining and thought that, as soon as he told her he wanted to be with her, she'd take him back happily. He'd been hurt and confused when she said no, and felt her reason for saying no didn't really make any sense. She had never worried about their relationship causing drama for the team before and, Finn thought to himself, wouldn't not being in a relationship cause more drama than if they were? It certainly felt like it for him, now that he'd realised he wanted to be with Rachel but she didn't want to be him. There was going to be an awkwardness between them, now. Everything had changed drastically in the last 10 minutes, more drastically than when Finn had decided to break up with her. _What a mistake. The biggest one of my life, probably. Man, I'm an ass. _

He'd been confidant at the start of the rehearsals. Smiling at her and dancing with her like always, but as the song went on, Finn had realised that Rachel was not warming up to him like he'd expected. He began to feel desperate to get her attention, so desperate that he quickly grabbed her on the last notes of the song and held her to him. But just as he'd felt her attention leaving him, she pulled herself away from his embrace and soon after, fled the scene.

He didn't know what to think as she ran away from him. He had no idea what he was going to do now. He'd told her he wouldn't give up that easily, and he didn't plan to even know, but it seemed like it was a lost cause. _How can I even talk to her again? _ _How can I convince her to be with me? How can I show her I really want to be with her? What can I do now? _ He had no answers. None at all.

"Finn?" Mr. Schue's voice escalated into Finn's ears and he startled, looking around to see his teacher and his fellows all staring at him.

"Um… what?... I mean, yeah, that's good…." he mumbled vaguely, staring around at their faces, and hoping he could get away with not paying attention.

"Are you alright, Finn?" came Mr. Schue's voice again, concerned.

"Oh yeah. Sure… Sorry, but what were you saying…before?"

"It doesn't matter," Mr. Schue said, still looking concerned. "I can tell you've got a lot on your mind, so maybe you should just take a break for the night… As for everyone else, keep practicing and we'll get back to this tomorrow at rehearsals."

He got up from his desk and walked towards the auditorium doors as Kurt walked over towards Finn, while everyone else made a move to get off the stage.

"Are you sure you're alright, Finn?" Kurt asked him, concerned, putting a hand on Finn's shoulder.

"Yeah, man." Finn mumbled, giving him a small smile.

"I can tell something's up. You can talk to me." Kurt said, frowning still more.

"It's nothing… I just… I think I just lost…" Finn muttered and shook his head at the ground. When he looked up he gave Kurt his trademark smile. "It's nothing, dude. Thanks, though. Uh, see you tomorrow," he said before quickly turning away. He had to get home. He had a lot of thinking to do.

Rachel was at home, lying glumly on her bed with her stereo blaring and tears flowing from her eyes and lining her face with little rivers.

She felt conflicted, hurt, overwhelmed. Why had Finn started facing his feelings for her and showing her that he cared now, when she was with Jesse? Jesse, who was confidant, mature and had the same drive for success that she did? Jesse, who said he'd never hurt her, like Finn had, and had no problems with his reputation or social status. Jesse was good to her and she really liked him but…

_He just isn't Finn, is he? _

The voice crept into Rachel's mind and she angrily pushed it away with her hand like it was an annoying fly. She had to ignore her feelings for Finn. She had to. Finn had already hurt her enough times, how was she ever supposed to be able to trust him again, to even consider being in a relationship with him again? No. She had to stick with Jesse. He wasn't going to hurt her. And she'd already fallen for him, so how hard could it be to forget Finn and be with Jesse? They were perfect for each other, when she and Finn, obviously weren't, no matter how much she wished…

With a pained groan, she remembered how shocked she'd felt when Finn had told her he wanted to be with her earlier, when he'd shown her how he'd circled dates and put up her calendar in his locker. It was such as sweet gesture, so sweet that Rachel'd felt sick when she turned him down. Absolutely conflicted. Her heart had sped up in delight and in pain and her mind had whirled with thoughts. _What should I do? But, what about Jesse… he loves me, he said he won't hurt me… But Finn… he wants to be with me…. a real couple…the dates on the calendar… But, no I can't give in to him now… what about Jesse? _ And she'd come up with the only excuse she could think of and it wasn't a very good one.

And then during the rehearsal, Finn looked so confidant and happy as he sang to her, acting with her like he always did, like nothing had changed between them. But it had. He'd really hurt her and she just couldn't forget that and go back to him, all forgiving… what would that solve? Nothing. How could she know that he really meant what he said? How could she know that he wouldn't hurt him again and again.

When he'd grabbed her at the end of the song, she'd felt even more conflicted. He'd never held her so tightly before and, with the feeling of his arm embracing her and his hear beat beating hard against her back, she had to force herself to pull herself away from him because if she didn't she feared she would never turn her back on him again. She'd just had to get away from temptation. She could not let herself give in to what her heart still wanted when her mind was so focused on anything other than that.

So, she'd run. And when she'd finally got home, she put music on and cried her heart out, everything still flying around in her head… Finn and Jesse, Finn, Jesse, Finn, Finn, Finn….Jesse…

Now, wiping her hands over her eyes and sniffling, Rachel sat up and took a staggering breath. She had to be strong. She couldn't let this get in the way of her dreams. She'd spent enough time crying over this and couldn't afford to do it anymore.

She picked up her phone, scrolled through the contacts and found the number of the person she thought would make her happy, make her forget about him.

Her true boyfriend and friend, Jesse.


	2. Propositions and Deceits

**Chapter Two: Propositions and Deceits**

Finn had barely seen Rachel at all over the last few days. He didn't know what he was supposed to say to her or what sort of relationship, if any, they were in now, so generally he'd been avoiding her and she him, it seemed.

On Friday he only caught little glimpses of her between classes, as she walked to her locker or to the glee club room or as she sat alone in the cafeteria. He sat alone, too. It seemed he'd lost everyone now. Puck, Quinn, Rachel… He could have gone and sat with Kurt, Artie, Mercedes and Tina, he was sure they wouldn't have minded, but he just wanted to sit alone and brood.

And over the weekend he must brooded some more while he played basketball and did homework. It was a dull time.

Monday and Tuesday were much the same. Finn felt a bit like a ghost. His basketball teammates weren't any nicer than usual, but at least their taunts told him that he was still alive.

At the end of the day on Wednesday, however, Rachel approached him at his locker, looking nervous.

"Hi, Finn," she said, smiling timidly at him.

He blinked at her rather rapidly. _Has she changed her mind?_ His heart began to beat harder. And realising that she was looking at him and waiting for a response, he smiled.

"Hey, Rachel," he murmured. "How are you?"

She smiled back, looking slightly relieved at the fact that he was talking to her.

"Fine. How about you? I haven't seen you anywhere. How come you weren't at rehearsals on Thursday?"

"Oh, well, I was… I was sick," Finn mumbled before turning away and closing his locker door.

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you going to be coming tomorrow?" she inquired, looking concerned.

"Sure," Finn said, smiling.

"Good. We, uh, we need our lead man back," she said nervously before walking backwards away from him and saying, "see you tomorrow, then."

"Yeah, see you," Finn said, watching her turn around and walk quickly out the door.

Well, it was a start.

`It was the end of the Thursday rehearsals where Mr. Schue had come up with the idea of doing Madonna songs for the week. Rachel thought it was a brilliant idea and it had certainly given her some confidence in dealing with Jesse pressuring her into going the whole way with him. Madonna was a _genius. _

As excited as she was about the Madonna numbers, though, she couldn't decide what to do about what Jesse wanted from her and she still couldn't get Finn out of her head. It was always nice spending time with Jesse, and though he did distract her, it didn't always last as long as she'd hope.

But just briefly talking to Finn on Wednesday had made her happier than she'd expected, as well as making her more confused and, if possible, hurt. She hadn't been able to talk to him during the rehearsal, but at least they'd smiled timidly at each other.

And now Mr. Schue had asked her to compile a Mash-Up for her and Finn to sing to inspire the group. She was pretty sure she knew what songs she wanted to use, but she didn't know if Finn would understand her message. She wanted it to be about their friendship. Because as much as she was against ever getting back with him for fear of getting hurt again, their friendship meant a lot to her and she needed to show that to him, through song. It was the best way to try to fix their friendship.

The next day at lunch while Finn was at his locker he looked up to see Santana strutting up to him with a wide, alluring smile on her face. He raised his eyebrows at her and looked back at his locker.

'Hello, Finn," she purred, stopping beside him and standing with her hands on her hips.

"Santana," he says nodding at her.

"So, Finn," she said reaching up to him at stroking his chest with her fingers, 'how would you like to hang out with me on the weekend. We can have some fun… like; I'll let you sleep with me."

Finn stared at her, confused. Where had this come from? Surely she didn't think their triple date had been that great for him? But, then, this was the seductive Santana.

Finn shook his head at her. "Uh, thanks, but… I like someone."

Santana pouted and rolled her eyes at him. "You can't be talking about Rachel can you?"

Finn didn't answer her, not that Santana gave him much time to answer. "Well, I'm sorry to tell you but she's still dating that Jesse. She doesn't care about you, so you may as well be with me, "she said.

Finn stared at her in shock. "How… you're lying. How'd you know that?"

"That's a secret. If you don't believe me, why don't you just go and ask her?" And with that, Santana span away from him, wriggling her hips and she walked away.

Finn stared after her before he angrily shut his locker door and headed briskly off in the direction of the choir room.

Rachel was in the choir room, nervously putting the finishing touches on the Mash-up she'd made for her and Finn to sing together. She'd tried to find Finn earlier to discuss a good time for a practice session but hadn't been able to find him. Just as she thought she should go and look for him again, she heard the door open and looked up to see Finn calmly walking in.

"Finn, I was just going to find you. Look, I know that the boys were a little uncomfortable about all this Madonna stuff so I figured you and I, as co-captains could do a little Mash-Up of a bunch of her songs just to show everyone how cool it can be." She said in a rush.

He blinked at her as she handed over the music. "Yeah, sure, no problem," he said as he took the sheet from her. And then, taking a deep breath, he blurted out "Look, are you still dating that Jesse kid?"

Rachel turned white. "N-no. Who told you that?"

Finn stared at her as her face drained of colour and her eye balls popped in shock.

He said and said, rather grumpily "Look I know things have been weird between us, but I never thought you'd lie to me."

Rachel swallowed and whispered. "Please just don't tell anyone."

Finn stared at her and his lips formed a tight line as he clenched his fists before he sighed and breathed out. "Unbelievable" he said, angrily.

Rachel looked down at the floor. "We may not be together the way Jesse and I are but..." She turned her eyes away from the ground and looked up at him. "…we can still be friends. I'm asking you, as my friend, to trust me."

Finn stared at her and finally found his voice. He was angry at her for betraying him but he didn't want to lose her. And this seemed the only way he could know her now.

"Fine. But if this leads to something bad for all of us, don't expect any more friendship from me," he told her, looking into her eyes.  
Rachel swallowed and nodded. "Noted. Alright, let's rehearse then."

"Sure," Finn agreed, although he wasn't sure how he'd be able to concentrate on singing with her now. But he could certainly try. For her.

*Mash-Up of Borderline/Open Your Heart*

When they finished the song, they stared at each other as if caught in a trance. Finn stared into her eyes, as if willing her to understand that what he had just sang to her was not just lyrics, but a proclamation of his feelings for her. And as he wanted her to realise this, he felt it would make no difference. She didn't feel that way about him anymore. She was with Jesse.

Feeling heartbroken, Finn pulled his gaze away from her face, turned and walked out of the room, mumbling a good-bye.

Rachel stared after Finn as he left the room. Her heart was beating widely and her stomach sinking. Singing with him just now had meant to draw their friendship closer but it hadn't worked. Finn finding out about Jesse had ruined something in their friendship. Rachel felt guilty for not telling him herself. After all, she was the one that had wanted them to be honest with each other and all he'd done since was be as honest to her. _But that was before you broke up that you said that _her mind argued as her heart moaned in the pain of what her lie had caused.

She had to distract herself from this. This feeling of hurt and confusion. She'd really felt for Finn as they'd sang together, felt again how happy she'd been when they'd finally gotten together and when they used to sing and hang out together. But happiness always leads to despair when it came to her feelings for Finn because there was no way he cared for as much as she cared for him. He'd walked out, hadn't he? The only reason he'd been upset to hear she was still with Jesse was only because he thought their relationship would jeopardise their chances at Regional's. He didn't really care for her. He'd basically said as much …_"__But if this leads to something bad for all of us, don't expect any more friendship from me"… _

Rachel sighed and thought of Jesse. He wanted her. And she needed to be distracted from the loss of Finn again. She knew what had to be done now. And she was almost sure that it would definitely work.


	3. In Too Deep

**Chapter Three: In Too Deep**

Finn sat on the bed in the hotel, feeling awkward and looking down at his hands. Santana sat beside him, already dressed, and consulting the room service menu.

He'd been sure that accepting Santana's proposal would help him get over his feelings for Rachel. But, clearly he'd been wrong. Having sex wasn't special if you were doing it with someone you didn't really like. And it definitely wasn't enough to distract him from who he really liked.

"I don't feel any different." He mumbled to Santana.

She replied but he wasn't really listening. He thought he vaguely heard her say "How do you feel" and he mumbled "I didn't feel anything. Because it didn't mean anything."

He felt horrible for himself and what he had done. He felt numb and confused and even more depressed then he did before he'd slept with Santana.

For the rest of the evening, as he took Santana to a fast food restaurant and then took her home, he wasn't there. All he could think about was what an idiot he'd been and the fact that him being an idiot and choosing to do that with Santana had made him think even more of Rachel than not.

He felt he needed to tell Rachel what he had done, but would she understand? She probably wouldn't care anyway, he thought dully, so what would be the point in telling her? No doubt it would get out soon enough, but why should he tell her? She'd lied to him first. Finn sighed. How immature of him to think that. He'd just have to tell her.

That night he decided that he would do what he could to make sure they could still be friends, at least in the future. He needed to apologise to her properly. To show her that he really did care for her. Then, how knows what could happen?

Meanwhile, Rachel had decided not to go through with sleeping with Jesse. She'd felt way too nervous and like she'd be getting in way too deep with Jesse if she did that so early in their relationship. She just wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. Not to mention that that, in the end, she knew it would make her feel guiltier for dating Jesse behind her teammate's backs. She couldn't forgive herself if she'd gone through with it.

Jesse had been very understanding, Rachel mused as she got ready for bed once he had left. He was really very nice. He knew how to deal with her unlike… Rachel sighed, got into bed and eventually fell into a restless sleep.

The next day as Rachel walked into school, she found Finn waiting for her at her locker. He looked up as soon as he heard her approaching and held up a placatory hand.

'Hey, Rachel," he said, as she stopped in front of him, giving her one of his lopsided smiles.

'Hello. What are you doing here?' she asked him pointedly as he stepped aside so she could get to her locker easier.

"Just wanted to talk to you for a sec," Finn said. "Look, Rachel… I just wanted to say… I really liked that Madonna Mash-up we did the other day. It was really awesome."

Rachel blinked at him and smiled. "Oh. Well, thanks. I also thought it was pretty awesome. Think it was good enough to inspire the group?" She shut her locker.

"Definitely," Finn beamed and they walked away from the lockers together. "So, how was your weekend? Did you go out with Jesse?"

"Yes. It was nice. I don't even know why I was so nervous because after it was over…" she replied, sighing. "Anyway… I heard that Santana asked you out again."

Finn blinked, feeling his eyes water a bit. Had she just said what he _thought _she said?

Finn shook his head, realising Rachel had asked him a question. "Oh. Yeah. Well, we went out to dinner but that was all really… It was alright…. I couldn't go through with it though….I wanted to wait for the right person…." he mumbled, looking away from her, his face reddening.

_Why did he do that? Why couldn't he just tell her? _

_Because he _wished_ it was true._

Rachel didn't say anything in reply, though she was looking a little dumbstruck, and they just continued walking towards the choir room, both lost in their own thoughts.

They arrived at the choir room door and step inside. Finn walks over to the chairs and sits down while Rachel walks over to the piano and examines a pile of music sheets sitting on top of it. None of the other members were there yet.

Finn cleared his throat and Rachel looked over at him. "Rachel… there's something that I – "

But before he could get any more words out and before Rachel could do anything other than wipe her hands nervously on her skirt, the rest of New Directions entered the room rather loudly, followed by Mr. Schuester, and, to no notice of most of the group, Jesse St. James.

Rachel dropped the music sheets she was holding and the scattered to the floor. Finn looked around rather annoyed, spotted Jesse and frowned. Everyone else seemed oblivious to this and merely continued chatting and arranging themselves on the seats. Kurt sat down beside Finn and smiled at him, but he barely noticed because he was too busy looking at the boy who was a stranger to him but was undoubtedly smiling warmly at Rachel as he stopped and stood behind Mr. Schue.

Mr. Schue cleared his throat and everyone stopped talking and looked over at him. Finally, the all spotted Jesse and frowned at him, not sure what to think of him.

Mr. Schue smiled. "Now that I've got all of your attention, I'd like to introduce you to Jesse St. James. He was in Vocal Adrenaline but he's moved from Carmel to here and has now joined New Directions. "

Everyone's jaws dropped. Rachel almost fell over, leaning onto the piano for support and looking like she couldn't believe her ears.

It was Finn who found his voice first.

"What the hell? Now it seems like everybody's doing things just to hurt my feelings!" he said angrily, glaring at Jesse and avoiding looking at Rachel.

Jesse looked at him calmly. "I thought you'd take this news a little better. I'm a star, you can all learn from me."

Kurt glowered at him. "We were already fighting for second leads and now that you've shown up I've lost all hope at ever getting a solo."

Mercedes nodded. "Yeah, that's right. And ya'll just drop me out at the end of every number so I can wail on the last note, how is that okay?"

Then Santana spoke up. "He's a spy Mr. Schue, I would know."

Mr. Schue just rolled his eyes and put up his hands. "Whoa, whoa, guys, I saw all the paperwork, I spoke with his parents."

"They have winter in Bali, that's a very expensive phone call," Jesse added, smiling.

Mr. Schue nodded and looked around at the group. "Jesse just moved in with his uncle, which is in our school district. It's all above board guys, he goes to this school now."

Finn felt sick. He'd been alright with Rachel dating Jesse, but now that it would be under his very nose… He didn't know how he'd cope. He just sat and glared at Jesse, clenching his fists while the voices of his fellow teammates talked rather loudly.

Artie yelled out." But this isn't fair!" 

Mr. Schue put his hands up again. "Guys! Everyone who's ever auditioned for this group has gotten in. That's how we do things here. Okay, to suddenly change the rules now, that would be unfair."

Brittany raises her hands. Mr. Schue nods at her. "Brittany."

"Mr. Shue, is he your son?"

Jesse looks over at Mr. Schue and shrugs. They do look quite similar. Mr. Schue just rolls his eyes again and smiles and Brittany, shaking his head.

Then Jesse looks over at Rachel, who has finally come back down to earth and was walking towards him slowly." I don't understand why you're doing this." She says to Jesse.

Jesse smiles at her. Finn starts to feel much more ill as he watches them.

"Because when you love something you gotta go for it. You'd never be with me completely if I were on the opposing team. And I care about you more than winning another National title. So I left Vocal Adrenaline. For you."

Finn quickly looked over at Rachel to see her response. She was smiling. She looked happy. Finn looked away, feeling more hurt and confused than ever. How was this happening to him?

He barely paid attention to the rest of lesson, but tried to be as energetic as he could. He didn't try to speak to Rachel again, who spent the whole rehearsal basking over the presence of Jesse, and left the room before anyone else so he wouldn't have to face her.

A couple of days later, Rachel was at her locker getting ready to go into the rehearsals for their big Madonna group number. She knew that Finn had arranged it and was quite excited to see what he'd come up with, despite being nervous of even being in the same room with him, particularly when Jesse was always with her now. She was glad he was. It was very romantic and exciting to have Jesse here. He was interesting and exciting. But she kept finding herself missing spending time with Finn.

She was so occupied in her thoughts that she didn't notice that someone had approached her until she heard them clear their throat. She looked up to see Finn standing there his face all flushed and looking at her determinedly.

'Hey,' he said, half-smiling nervously.

She sighed. 'If you're gonna criticize and mock me again about Jesse you can can it", she said in a bit of a huff and closed her locker briskly.

"No, I wanted to apologize." He said, still looking steadily at her. She raised her eyebrows. He continued "The only reason you were even open to dating Jesse was because I was such an ass. Mr. Tough Guy and all that." He paused, took a deep breath and said. "I really liked you. And I could have had you but... I blew it."

Rachel blinked at him. He didn't look away, but looked directly into her eyes. And she noticed something in them she'd never really taken in before. An absolute tenderness.

"You really liked me?" She asked, feeling a little dumbfounded.

He smiled and nodded and was about to add "I still do," when suddenly Jesse arrived and flung an arm over Rachel's shoulder.

"Okay Finn, I know we have a big showdown coming so let's just decide on the arena. Sing-off, five o' clock, parking lot, be there," he said confidently. 

Finn stared at Jesse.

His eyes flickered towards Rachel as she gasped out "No!"

And then he looked back to Jesse. Boy, would he love to show Jesse a thing or two. But that wasn't going to help him win Rachel back in the long run. She wanted maturity.

Finn shook his head and stuck out his hand towards Jesse

And Finn said "Welcome to New Directions."

Jesse and Rachel stared down at Finn's hand in shock.

Finn sighed and shrugged. Frankly, I need ya; I'm tired of carrying the male vocals all by myself."

Jesse nodded, and after extracting his arm from around Rachel, shook Finn's hand.

Finn nodded, and then, as if it was an afterthought, looked Jesse square in the eye and said 'I'll do my best to stay away from your girl."

Rachel stared at him, shocked at his forwardness and Finn looked back at her, right in the eye again. They stared at each other.

Jesse didn't seem to notice. "I appreciate that. She's a keeper." He play-punched Rachel on the arm and she barely seemed to notice and sloppily leant against the locker.

Finn half smiled and looked back at Jesse. "Walk with me to the auditorium, I put together a new Madonna number, I'll talk you through it on the way."

"Sweet" Jesse said after glancing once at Rachel. The two boys head off together towards the auditorium, with Rachel staring after them, but mostly, after Finn. She felt like she'd just met a whole new side to Finn she'd never seen before, and if she had seen it, it only came in small stabs.

Shaking her head and sighing, she walked off to follow the boys.

*Like A Prayer* 


	4. Struggling

**Chapter Four: Struggling**

Things just didn't seem to be getting any easier for Finn. His mum was dating Kurt's dad and they were no doubt going to become a happy family any day now, it seemed. He blatantly being pushed aside in Glee Club to make room for the new male lead, Jessie, who was , without a doubt, a more professional dancer and singer than Finn was. This made it feel like the teasing he got from his fellow jocks wasn't quite worth the trouble, as he barely had anything to show for it. He was feeling stupider and stupider in his classes, unable to concentrate on anything the teachers were saying and unable to understand anything they were saying, too.

But all of this would have been ok, if only, he could have what was really bothering him. The upmost of his problems came from one Rachel Berry, who he just couldn't stop thinking about no matter how hard he tried. He had managed to sustain a rather awkward friendship with her, but that came at a tough price. Firstly, she was hardly ever without her boyfriend, Jesse St. James, which made it increasingly difficult to speak to her without turning into a Jolly Green Giant (though there was certainly nothing "Jolly" about that image). Secondly, it was a difficulty on his own just to talk to Rachel, whether she was with Jessie or not, because he felt like crying like a girl whenever he saw her. Thirdly, it was getting more and more difficult to restrain from grabbing her and kissing her whenever they were alone, which he knew he could not do. Damn those hormones.

So, yes, Finn was in a bit of a ruckus. His heart ached when he saw Rachel and Jessie walking down the hall, hand in hand or when Jessie gave her a quick kiss before class. He hated watching them in glee club, smiling, singing and twirling around each other like Finn used to with her. It was so sickening, it was so wrong, to see them together that he frequently rushed to the toilets in the middle of rehearsals to vomit.

And there just didn't seem to be any getting out of it. It couldn't be stopped. Finn was in love. In love with the girl of his dreams, who didn't feel the same way and had so easily transferred to the new male lead like turning a page in a book.

Rachel didn't feel like she was adapting to singing to Jessie as her male lead as well as she should be. It should be easy, she kept thinking, because he was her boyfriend, but she kept feeling like some of the connection between them was missing. Singing with Jessie wasn't like singing with Finn. Jessie matched her perfectly in talent, it was true. But it felt like he had just been thrown in to fill up a space that didn't need to be filled. Finn had history in the glee club; he had virtually been the one to throw all the members together so that it worked when he joined. He was meant to be the leader, the co-captain. Now it just seemed Jessie had gotten his part without putting any work in.

She did enjoy his company. He was intelligent, mature, talented, romantic, handsome, a girl's dream, but Rachel was beginning to think that he wasn't hers. She was never completely thrilled when he kissed her and her heart didn't stop when she saw him walking towards her. Not the way that it did when she saw Finn.

She blushed and grimaced just at the thought of him. Finn. Her friend, Finn. Finn being her friend meant more to her than Jessie being her boyfriend. And that's why she was dating Jessie, well, one of the reasons. Because she didn't want to ruin what she had with Finn now. She didn't want to be hurt again if she decided to give herself to him again. As much as it pained, she'd rather have this friendship than nothing at all. Besides, she doubted very much that Finn even liked her anymore. He didn't seem upset she was dating Jessie. He just always seemed pleased for her, and that wasn't something a 16 year old boy would be capable of if he liked her. But she would do anything to find out how he really felt, to see if she could trust him again. It might just take her some time…

No, Rachel would just have to give up on him. But was that possible? She really doubted it.

Finn sat in the choir room, waiting for the rest of the glee club to arrive. He yawned and stretched out on a chair, checking his watch. 10 minutes more time to wait.

He looked up and Rachel entered the room. Surprisingly, Jessie was not beside her like he usually was. Rachel saw Finn sitting there and smiled nervously.

"Hey," she said, walking towards him and sitting in the chair beside him.

Finn smiled. "Hey, Rachel, how are you?"

"Great. And you?" she replied.

"Yeah, good," Finn said, nodding and scratching his neck awkwardly. "So, how come Jessie isn't stuck to you today?" he asked, jokingly.

Rachel gave a little laugh. "He had to go see a teacher about some homework."

"Oh, cool," Finn said, sincerely. 'How come you didn't wait for him?"

"I just wanted to come in here. He didn't mind, you know, he isn't my boss or anything," Rachel laughed. "He probably wishes he was, though." Grimace worthy, Rachel.

"Uh… right, of course." Finn paused and then glanced at Rachel seriously. "So, are you really happy with him?"

Rachel stared at him, feeling a little frozen. She nodded mutely.

Finn half-smiled. "That's… That's really good, because if you weren't, you know, he'd have me to show for it."

Rachel smiled warmly. "Oh, there wouldn't be any need for that." She paused again and sighed. "Although, lately, I'm finding that…"

"What? He's not hurting you is he?" Finn asked, sharply.

Rachel shook her head hurriedly. "No! No, nothing like that."

Finn sighed. "Oh, good, because I would hate that. What's wrong then?"

Rachel smiled a little and looked away from him. "It's just… I'm not sure… if I should… if I can…" she paused and finally whispered. "I don't think I want to be his girlfriend anymore."

Finn stared at her, amazed. "What? Why?"

Rachel swallowed, took a deep breath and began to speak. "Because… because, he's not… he's not y –"

But before Rachel could finish her sentence, Santana and Brittany walked into the room and headed straight for Finn.

As they grabbed his arms and hauled him off the chair, Santana said, "Sorry, Finn, but we need you to come with us. To Ms. Sylvester's office."

Finn jerked his arm away from Santana, looking slightly bemused. "What? Why?"

Santana glared at him and dug her fingers into his arm. "I'm making myself Head Cheerleader and you are going to help me," she snapped.

Finn frowned. "How will I help?"

"You are my secret weapon, don't you remember?" Santana enquired, rolling her eyes.

Finn paled. He stared at Santana in horror for a second and then looked back at Rachel, who was staring at them both angrily and curiously. "But, what about Glee Club?" Finn asked, desperately, looking back towards Santana.

"Finn, if you don't come now, I will tell everyone that you and I…" Santana hissed, dangerously.

Finn buckled and let Santana and Brittany lead him out of the room. He looked back over his shoulder and looking at Rachel apologetically before he walked forwards with his big mistake right beside him.


	5. The Truth

**Chapter Five: The Truth**

Rachel watched Finn being dragged off by Santana and Brittany feeling both relieved and disappointed. She had just come very close to telling Finn that she'd rather be with him than with Jessie. This would have been such a relief to get off her chest, but at the same time she was glad that Finn still didn't know that. It meant she could keep it to herself for just that little bit longer; she could make sure that telling him was a good thing, that it would be beneficial rather than traumatic.

After glee club (which continued despite the absence of Finn, Santana and Brittany) Rachel walked to her locker with Jessie only to find Finn standing there waiting for her. She smiled curiously at him and waved. He lifted his hand in return and looked away hurriedly as Jessie suddenly grabbed Rachel in his arms and kissed her.

Rachel squealed and barely managed to kiss him back before Jessie pulled back, said 'See you tomorrow, babe,' and walked off in the other direction towards his locker. Rachel shook her head and continued walking towards Finn, who was looking a bit red and nervously wiping his hand on his jeans, while his other hand clutched at his bag.

Rachel smiled at him in what she hoped passed as a comfortable (and definitely not nervous) smile. "Hey, Finn. How are you?"

Finn swallowed. "I'm alright… you?"

"Good, thanks. We missed you in Glee today."

Finn smiled a bit, "Did you? I wouldn't have thought so. I haven't really been contributing much lately."

Rachel frowned. "Yes you have. You are very important to the club, Finn, you know that."

Finn smiled. "Yeah… I guess." He looked away and seemed to be holding his breath. Then he suddenly looked back at Rachel and said. "Look, Rach, I need to tell you something."

Rachel's smile dropped. "What? What's wrong? Has something happened?"

"No… well, yes, really, but… Rachel, I think what I'm going to tell you will upset you… I just want to be the one to tell you before you hear it from… from somewhere else."

"What are you talking about?" Rachel asked, frowning and leaning against her closed locker to look at Finn intently.

Finn looked down at his feet. "Rachel. I – I haven't been honest with you."

"About what?"

Finn swallowed again, but didn't answer. He was still looking at the ground.

"You can tell me, Finn. You know you can tell me anything," Rachel said gently, reaching over and placing a hand on Finn's arm.

Finn turned red and nodded. Taking a deep breath he looked up at Rachel, looking nervous but determined.

"You know how Santana asked me out a couple of weeks ago?"

Rachel nodded.

Finn breathed in and continued. "Well… see, the thing is… I… Rachel, I lied to you."

Rachel stared. "Lied to me about what?"

Finn swallowed yet again. "I said I couldn't go through with it. But… but… I did."

Rachel's eyes widened. "What… you mean…. You and Santana… you…?"

Finn closed his eyes and nodded.

Rachel's eyes widened even more and she felt tears spark her eyes. "Why… What… how could you lie to me Finn?" she asked, a little angrily.

"Because I'm an idiot," Finn answered, simply. He reached a placatory hand out towards Rachel and she stepped backwards, staring at him.

Finn groaned. "Rachel… I'm really sorry. It was a mistake, I feel terrible about it."

"Why?" Rachel burst out. "You… I asked you to be honest with me… you said you were waiting for the right person… you shouldn't have lied…"

"I know. I said that because I wished I'd waited for the right person. I know it was wrong of me to lie, but I felt so bad about myself and I didn't want you to know." Finn pleaded.

"You wished you'd waited for the right person? Well, it's a bit late for that isn't?" Rachel asked, angrily.

"Yes," Finn nodded, looking down at his feet in shame. "Do you think I don't know that? I wish I didn't do it… I thought I'd feel different after… but I didn't."

"Different to what?" Rachel asked, grumpily.

Finn stared at her. "Different to how I feel about you," he said, clearly. "I mean, you were with Jessie, all happy together and I thought it would make it go away."

Rachel stared at him. She still felt angry, like she couldn't control her anger no matter what Finn was telling her. Deep down she knew that she shouldn't be angry with him for lying or for sleeping with another girl when Rachel had no claim to him herself or for being so sure about what he wanted to say and how he felt when Rachel just felt so confused or for being so honest with her now when she couldn't be honest with him. She knew she'd lied to him, too, but she couldn't admit that to herself, let alone to Finn. She wanted him to pay for lying to her, because he'd hurt her so many times before so she wasn't going to tell him she didn't sleep with Jessie. She just couldn't.

Finn was staring at her waiting for her to say something. Rachel seemed to be struggling on the verge of speech, but then she suddenly span around without a word and ran off. She heard Finn calling her name as she ran, but she didn't look back. She just had to run away.

Finn stared after Rachel, his heart sinking even further. He'd had no idea how Rachel was going to react to what he told her. He knew that she'd be upset, but he hadn't expected her to do this. Finn had never seen Rachel being unable to speak. When they were in an argument, she usually said something big and smart before she left him standing there, something that always made him feel confused. And while he was the one still standing here, today he'd been the one speaking his mind. The pages had turned.

Finn stood there for awhile longer, just staring down the hall at the place Rachel had disappeared before he finally began walking in the same direction to the entrance of the school. He felt so dejected that the relief of telling Rachel the truth didn't really register to him.

He couldn't stop seeing Rachel's shocked and angry face. It was going to haunt him for the rest of his life, he thought, because it was the worst he'd ever seen her mad at him.

But, he thought, at least it's out there. It's better that way, for sure. After being in Ms. Sylvester's office, where Santana had informed her that she had slept with Finn (which Ms. Sylvester hadn't seemed as interested in as Santana had thought), Santana had Pulled Finn off to the side corridor and told him "don't worry, Finn, I'm not giving up yet. You just wait for tomorrow. They won't know what hit them" before walking away with Brittany.

Finn'd frowned after her, repeating the words in his head. He wasn't sure what Santana was talking about or what her plan was, but he had a funny feeling that it would have something to do with them sleeping together. So he'd quickly made the decision to tell Rachel right away in case Santana got there first.

He just wished now that it hadn't been necessary. That he'd been clever enough to know that the truth was going to get out and that he shouldn't have lied about it in the first place. He'd thought he was saving Rachel from hurt, but he knew now that the pain he'd put her through now was much worse.


	6. The List

**Chapter Six: The List**

The next day Rachel was still angry with Finn. She knew it wasn't fair because he _had _told her the truth himself and he certainly _did _seem very sorry about it what he did, which were both chivalrous of him. However, Rachel couldn't bring herself to forgive him so easily. She wanted him to suffer for lying to her in the first place. She felt he deserved a bit of guilt.

Finn tried to talk to her throughout the day – she heard him calling her name or spied him waiting for her at her locker or outside classroom doors – but she managed to avoid him by taking other routes to classes, making do without grabbing anything out of her locker for the whole day and sticking to Jessie's side like glue. But things got much more difficult when the end of the day came along, when Rachel couldn't put off going to her locker any longer. After all, after what had just happened to her, there was no way she was going to leave her car keys and walk all the way home instead of taking her car (it didn't help that Jessie couldn't drive her home today because he had a special family appointment and had left school 10 minutes early.) She was far too humiliated to even try to continue avoiding Finn. Besides, she needed him to make the humiliation go away.

_2 hours earlier_

It was nearing the end of lunch and Rachel was hiding in a dark corner of the library with Jessie. They weren't doing anything _sexual _Rachel hastened to add, they were just studying.

Anyway, Rachel got out her notebook and flipped through it trying to find some notes she made in class the other day for her homework. And in her page flipping she came across something that she had never seen before. A list, called "Who's Hot and Who's Not."

Rachel gaped at it in horror. For there it was: her name. At the very bottom of the list. And beside it a horrible negative that made her feel sick to her stomach. – 5. She gasped out loud and Jessie looked over at her, bemused.

'What's wrong, Rach?" he asked her.

She shook her head and hid the list back into her notebook. She didn't want Jessie to see this. Little did she know, it was all over school.

As soon as she got out of class, she saw it everywhere. Pasted on lockers and on the notice board and on the floors.

And even though she was close to tears, she rushed through the school to glee club rehearsals like she hadn't noticed anything, her nose in the air and Jessie rushing after her, saying her name.

When she finally got to glee club, she walked straight to a chair and sat down, willing herself not to cry or make eye contact with anyone, especially not Finn whose eyes she could feel on her. Jessie sat down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder.

'Rachel,' Jessie said carefully. 'Don't worry about that list. It doesn't mean anything.'

Rachel sighed and snapped. 'Easy for you to say, Jessie. You got basically a standing ovation on there besides what I got."

Jessie laughed quietly. 'Maybe, but I don't care what these people think. I've got you, don't I? What you think is all that matters."

Rachel turned to look at him and gave him a small smile. But when she looked away, she didn't feel happy at all. She had to come up with a way to get herself higher on that list, because she did care what other people thought of her, no matter what she might have said otherwise. It did matter to her and she was going to do what she could to make herself popular.

When Finn first saw the list, he wasn't sure what to think. He got +19, so he had to be pretty pleased about that, but it was strange that Rachel was the only minus on the page. Like, he knew she wasn't popular at all, but in his eyes she was very hot and he had thought that some people might think she was too. So, apart from that little bit of injustice and wanting to know who exactly had made this list (it must be someone stupid), Finn didn't really think too much of it.

He knew Rachel was a strong person and was certain that she wouldn't get depressed over this. She knew who she was and she had always believed that you shouldn't care what people thought of you. So when he saw Rachel looking so distressed in Glee, he just assumed it was still because he had lied and slept with Santana. After all, she'd avoided him all day and certainly didn't give him one glance in rehearsals.

He knew he needed to talk to her and try to make it up to her. He knew that there must be something he could do to make it up to her and he was determined to try to speak to her after glee, even if it meant making himself feel worse than he already felt.

Finn was at Rachel's locker like she'd suspected and Finn was very surprised to see that instead of walking away from him like she had all day, she walked deliberately up to him and smiled widely.

"Hey, Finn. How are you?" she asked, cheerfully. "I was hoping you'd be here because I really wanted to speak to you. I've decided to forgive you about what happened because, you know, it's not like I was your girlfriend when you slept with Santana anyway, so I have no claim on what you do. And, so, I was hoping we could just forget about it and be friends again and I actually wanted to know if you could help me with this project I'm working on." She said all this very quickly, smiling up at him in the only way Rachel could.

Finn blinked at her, trying to take everything she had said in. She forgave him? So quickly? And she wanted to just forget about it, like it never happened? She wanted them to be friends again? Well… he didn't like the _friends _part but he could deal with it… but what was this about a project?

Rachel was looking at him expectantly and he realised she was waiting for him to answer her.

Finn cleared his throat. "Oh? Really, I mean… cool, that's… that's really awesome Rachel, thanks. I'd really like us to be… friends again." He smiled at her. "What's the project about?"

Rachel smiled and gushed "Oh, it's a video clip! To a song called "Run, Joey, Run", which is about a girl whose in love with her boyfriend, but her father is really protective and wants to kill him. So, I thought, you could play the boyfriend and I would play the girlfriend and it would be really show off both of our talent."

Finn stared at Rachel as his mouth curved into a big smile. "Great. That sounds awesome, Rachel." And he meant it. Things seemed to be looking up.

_3 days later_

Finn dashed from the room, feeling more hurt than he'd ever felt in his life. He couldn't believe Rachel had just _used _him and Puck and Jessie to save her damn reputation, all because of that damn list! He couldn't believe it. He'd really felt he and Rachel were finally working things out and being honest with each other, but no, he'd just been played. It hurt to think that they'd had so much fun making the video, but it was all just a lie because she'd spent time with two other guys as well. So what they'd shared obviously hadn't been important to her at all. She'd lied to him now. Pretending she cared about him just to get what she wanted.

He did feel bad for being a hypocrite (that was the right word, wasn't it?) though. He knew he'd sacrificed their friendship for his reputation in the past many times, but what he said had just slipped out. He'd been hurt and felt betrayed and he would never have expected Rachel to be dumb like him, by choosing reputation over friendship. That was something he'd promised himself he'd never do again, but, he guessed… Karma had got to him anyway.

Rachel felt worse than before. Jessie had broken up with her, Finn wasn't looking at her and Puck was just glaring at her whenever she looked at him.

She'd thought her plan would work, that they'd all understand and that people would cheer her for doing something so out there. But instead, she had lost so many things that she knew was more important than her reputation. Finn's hurt face and words filled her mind again and she winced.

She'd meant to be surrounded by people after the video, but they walked out and she was all alone now. No boyfriend. No best friend. No bad boy to flirt with her. Nothing.

She was back to being the Rachel Berry, the complete loner.


	7. Make You Feel Better: Part One

**Chapter 7: Make You Feel Better**

**Part One:**

Over the next couple of days, Rachel tried as hard as she could to make it up to Finn, Jessie and Puck, but Jessie didn't come back to school and didn't answer her phone calls, Finn seemed to be avoiding her and Puck sneered at her and told her to scamper off.

So she just put all of her efforts into Glee club. She noticed that many of the members, the popular people in particular, were barely holding their weight these days. So she made a list to show Mr. Schue. She didn't know what made her put Finn first; maybe she was annoyed at him that he wouldn't even give her a chance to speak to him, but anyway, he really wasn't contributing at all. He just sat there in rehearsals staring off into space moodily. She pushed aside the idea that this was her fault, telling herself that Finn should know better than to slack off glee club at a time like this, so it was his own fault he was getting dobbed.

Mr. Schue didn't seem to have noticed that half the club weren't working hard enough and looked at her incredulously. He warily gave her permission to try to inspire them, however, saying that he couldn't begrudge her her seat as Co-Captain.

And so, she confidently walked to the front of the class and gave them her practiced speech on the relevance of 'The Climb' by Miley Cyrus (which everyone rolled their eyes to) before she started to sing.

And that's when things started to go terribly wrong. She was singing like she usually did, but it didn't sound like her. It was out of pitch, untuned, all the noises a talented singer like her did not want to hear coming from their own mouths. She kept singing, though, feeling confused and panicked. Some of the glee club was laughing silently at her, their hands over their mouths and some of them looked truly shocked. She looked at Finn and was surprised to see a sympathetic wince on his face.

She tried to let out one of her legendary high notes, but it came out like a wailing squeak and she turned red and stopped singing and looked around at everyone, embarrassed.

Then she heard the worst thing she could ever hear come out of Mr. Schue's mouth. "Rachel, I think you're losing your voice."

She looked at him in horror and without a word or glance at anyone, turned on her heel and fled from the room.

Finn felt terrible for Rachel as he watched her fled from the room. Singing was what she loved most in the world and he had no idea how bad it must feel for her to have embarrassed herself in front of everyone by singing so horribly.

Everyone else was starting to giggle and talk loudly about it, but Finn hardly took any notice. He was arguing with himself.

_Just get up and comfort her, you idiot._

I can't. She wouldn't want me too. She doesn't even like me.

_Of course she would, you're her friend. She needs you._

We're not… she… I can't… I'm too ashamed.

_Ashamed of what?_

Yelling at her… being mad at her… that I'm still mad at her

_Then just go and talk to her and pretend you're not. She'll be thrilled._

I can't!

_Chicken_

It wouldn't be fair. I shouldn't be mad, but I can't just pretend I'm not can I?

_Why not?_

Because… I'd feel like an idiot…

_You said you were ashamed of being mad at her. Admit it; you should've forgiven her by now anyway._

But… she really hurt my feelings.

_Sure, but if you really care about her, you should put that aside._

What if I'm not strong enough?

_Face your demons, Finn. _

How?

_Get off your ass and go after her! Be her friend._

She doesn't want me…

_She does, she does! Just go, you idiot!_

Finn had no idea where this voice was coming from. Maybe it was from a place he was actually smart. He didn't know, but he decided to listen to it.

He stood up quickly and walked over to Mr. Schue.

"Sorry, Mr. Schue, I just want to go and see if she's alright."

Mr. Schue nodded and smiled. "Sure, Finn, of course."

Finn smiled nervously and left the room without a backwards glance. He dashed out of the classroom and headed straight for Rachel's locker. She wasn't there. He went to the ladies toilets and even went inside to check if she was in there. She wasn't. He walked out into the car park to see if her car was still there. It wasn't.

He sighed. He had basketball after school so he couldn't go and see her now because he had to go. He'd already missed a couple of practices lately and he knew he'd probably get kicked off the team if he missed some more.

No, he decided, nervously. He would just have to visit Rachel at her house after training.

_Later_

Finn finished getting changed after practice in the locker room and headed out the door to his car. It was about 5 and his heart was hammering in his chest as he made his way slowly to Rachel's house, his knuckles white and his palms slippery on the steering wheel.

He had no idea how he had worked up the courage to do this. He didn't know if it was going to last but he was going to try.

He stopped outside her house. The lights weren't on and there were no cars in the driveway. He gulped, so she wasn't here. She must be at the hospital, he thought.

He was just about to start his car again and pull away to go to the hospital, when he saw the curtain move out of the corner of his eye. He stared at the window, where he swore he'd seen a head peer out the window and quickly move back out of view.

He chuckled and quickly got out of his car. So, Rachel was here. He took a deep breath and walked up the drive to her front door.

He knocked. He waited. He knocked again. Nothing. Had he imagined it? He shook his head. No, he had definitely seen something.

He knocked again, but this time he called out 'Rachel, I know you're in there. Open the door. Please."

He heard a gasp and smiled to himself. He heard a bit of rustling, sniffling and little footsteps. The door handle turned and there she was. Red from crying and looking at him in shock.


	8. Make You Feel Better: Part Two

**~Here's an update for you guys! Even though I've only gotten one review, I've noticed by story in lots of peoples 'Favourites' (which I really appreciate =)) so….. here's the next few chapters for your enjoyment!~**

**Chapter 7: Make You Feel Better**

**Part Two:**

Finn smiled at her gently and said urgently. "Don't cry, Rachel. I hate seeing you cry."

Rachel hiccoughed and continued staring at him. "What – what are y – you doing h – here, Finn?"

Finn looked at her intently. "I came to see if you were ok. I came after you when you ran out from glee rehearsals, but you were already gone. And coach would have kicked me out if I missed practice. So I'm sorry I'm late."

Rachel smiled a little. "Umm… well, that's – that's v – very nice of you, F – Finn, thank you."

Finn smiled. "Sure." He looked at her awkwardly. "My pleasure."

They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment before Rachel spoke up. "Well... do – do you want to come in – inside for a – a bit?"

Finn smiled and nodded. "If you don't mind," he said, as she opened the door wider and he followed her inside. She walked over to the couch and sat down and Finn followed awkwardly, sitting on the couch opposite her.

"So… how come your dads aren't here comforting you?" Finn asked, breaking the silence (that was already slightly broken by Rachel's little sniffles, though she seemed to have stopped crying for the moment.)

Rachel sighed. "They don't get back from work until 6."

"Oh. Right." Finn mumbled. "Well… is there anything you want me to do? I could take you to the doctors or something, unless you already went?"

Rachel looked at him and rubbed her eyes. She looked like a small child. "They'd be closed now and well… actually, I was thinking of waiting to go tomorrow, with my dad's, because I didn't want to be alone."

"Oh. Well, I could take you to the hospital, they're open all hours right?"

Rachel nodded and shook her head at the same time. "Yes, but this is hardly necessary to go to the hospital for."

Finn shook his head. "Of course it is because I can see you're really upset about it. Come on, I'll take you and we can get your voice box checked out. What do you say?"

Rachel smiled timidly. "Okay… I guess it couldn't hurt. And I am desperate for some answers here. I mean, I don't think I can wait for tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I didn't know what is going wrong with me."

Finn stood up and reached out his hand to her. "Come on then, let's go."

She looked at his and gingerly took it. Finn smiled and pulled her to her feet. 

Sitting in Finn's car, Rachel couldn't help but feel a little warm inside. Here Finn was, being there for her when no one else was. He didn't seem mad at her at all and was just being a good friend, which was exactly what she needed at the moment. If her throat wasn't so soar and she wasn't so worried about her future, she probably would have screamed in delight.

The drive to the hospital wasn't long and they didn't talk much in the car, except for Finn asking her what radio station she liked to listen to and asking her if she was cold before he put the heat on, but it didn't feel as awkward as she would have thought. It was just nice to be sitting with him.

They arrived at the hospital in 10 minutes. Finn parked the car and got out, racing over to the passenger door to open it for Rachel before she could. She laughed shyly when he said "after you, my lady" and gave her her favourite lopsided grin.

They walked side by side towards the hospital and Finn's hand would occasionally brush Rachel's when he swung his arm and every time Rachel felt a spark travel through her arm and her heart beat really fast, but she forced herself to ignore it.

When they got to the reception, Finn quietly said to the receptionist "hello. My friend here really needs to see a doctor as soon as possible. Can you help us out?" The receptionist smiled and asked Rachel to fill in some forms and then to go and wait in the waiting room.

The forms were rather big, but Rachel enjoyed herself. She did like filling in forms. Out of the corner of her eye, she sometimes saw Finn watching her intently; he would keep looking at her and then adverting his eyes from her so many times it was quite amusing.

They waited for half an hour before a doctor called her name and she and Finn were lead into a small room.

The doctor smiled at Rachel. "Hello, I'm Dr. Kirk," he said, smiling at her. "Why don't you sit down," he pointed to the hospital chair. Rachel sat down and Finn grabbed the chair beside the bed and moved over so he was sitting right next to Rachel. She smiled at him and then turned towards Dr. Kirk.

"So, Rachel, is it?" Rachel nodded. "What can I do for you today?"

"Well, I'm a singer, Dr. Kirk and I'm really worried because today I was singing in glee club, but it sounded terrible. I'm really very talented and I just want to know what's wrong with me because if I lose my voice, I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"I see," Dr. Kirk nodded, looking amused. "Have you been having a sore throat?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes."

"And do you usually talk like that?"

Finn laughed and answered before Rachel could. "That fast you mean? Yeah she does, but its mostly much louder than that."

Dr. Kirk smiled as Rachel shot Finn a look. "I see. Have you been coughing at all?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, I don't think – "but at that moment her hand flew to her mouth as she let out a rasping cough.

Dr. Kirk nodded. "Ok. And when did this start happening?"

"Just today," Rachel whispered, choking a little as another cough started up.

Dr. Kirk nodded. "I'd say you have a case of laryngitis. You will probably never be able to sing again."

Rachel gasped and Dr. Kirk laughed. "Just joking. You just need to stop talking and singing for a week to give yourself a rest and you need to take some medicine. Wait here, I'll just go and get some."

Rachel glared at Dr. Kirk as he left and sighed.

"I can't sing and talk for a whole week?" she mumbled to herself. She turned and looked around at Finn, who was watching her. "Who am I without my voice?" she asked him, searchingly.

As soon as Rachel asked her that question, he knew he had to give her the most perfect answer he could think of to make her feel better. She was so vulnerable (yes, he actually knew what that word meant, surprise, surprise) right now and he needed to make her as happy as he could.

He gave her a gentle smile."You'll still be Rachel Berry, Rachel. The most talented, wonderful and beautiful person I know. You'll still be my best friend," he said, hoping that was enough.

Rachel stared at him in awe. "Really? I'm your best friend… and you think… you think I'm beautiful?"

Finn smiled and blushed. "Of course, Rachel. I think you're the most beautiful person in the world. And, of course you're my best friend, though I wish you were much – "

But before he could finish his sentence, Dr. Kirk arrived with a bottle of medicine that he advised Rachel to take twice a day before he lead them out of the door and reminded Rachel not to sing and talk for a week.

The car ride back to Rachel's was quiet. Rachel was contemplating what Finn had said to her so much it was all winding around in her mind like a ball of wool, over and over again. She wished she'd heard the end of Finn's sentence, though she knew exactly what she hoped he was going to say. Finn was silently wishing the doctor had come in just a few seconds later so he could've said what he'd wanted. He didn't think he'd ever have the courage to say something like that again. She probably didn't want to hear it anyway. He was pretty sure she was still with Jessie, she hadn't told him otherwise anyway. In fact, Jessie was probably the one that had made Rachel get laryngitis. It was probably what had been keeping him from being at school the last week.

When they arrived at Rachel's house all the lights were on and her dads were home. Finn quickly got out of the car and walked around to Rachel's side to open the door for her again.

She smiled at him and opened her mouth to say 'thanks' but Finn quickly reached over and put a finger to her mouth. His heart beat with the soft feeling of her lips on his finger and the sudden feeling of déjà vu he was getting, but he pushed it aside and gently said "shhh. You're not supposed to talk, Rachel. Come on, I'll walk you up and explain what happened to your dads."

Rachel smiled gratefully at suddenly reached out and wrapped her arms around Finn. Finn hesitated for a moment before quickly putting his arms around her and hugging her tightly back. She sighed into his chest happily and Finn couldn't help grinning like an idiot.

After awhile, Rachel drew her arms away from Finn and offered him her hand. He took it and they walked hand in hand to Rachel's front door.


	9. Make You Feel Better: Part Three

**Chapter 7: Make You Feel Better**

**Part 3**

The next day, Finn waited for Rachel to arrive at her locker. The night before he had told her that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to come to school ("I just don't want you to get more depressed, Rachel") but she _was _Rachel Berry and she insisted she couldn't miss a day of school for anything. So, Finn had promised her he would meet her at her locker so they could go to class together.

He was felt nervous because while things had gone really well for them the day before at the hospital and stuff and since last night he'd decided that he was going to do everything he could to get Rachel to want to be with him again. Though he couldn't help feeling that he was just going to make everything worse in the end, he was going to try. Rachel was still with Jessie, but Jessie wasn't around these days and Finn knew he'd be very disappointed in himself if he didn't take the opportunity to be with Rachel when he didn't have that guy watching his every move.

The bell rang and Finn kept waiting for Rachel. Finally, he saw her coming towards him from the entrance, wearing her one of her usual cute outfits and waving childishly at him. Boy, she was so cute, Finn thought. Ok, man, you can do this! You can do this!

Finn held up a hand and plastered his trademark smile on his face, waiting for Rachel to reach him. When she did, he didn't say anything because he knew she couldn't. Instead, he pulled his hands out from behind his back and withdrew the cue cards he'd made last night.

She looked at them and stared, smiling.

The first one said "Hello, Rachel."

She held up her hand again and grinned at him, as Finn moved that one aside to show her the second one. "How are you?"

She put her thumbs up and grinned so much it looked like she was laughing but no sound came out of her throat.

Finn held up the next cue card (the one he prepared if she gave a positive response). "Awesome. Then I'm good, too."

Despite not being able to talk, Rachel had the best day. She was really enjoying her time with Finn and was really touched that he wasn't talking around her either. He hadn't made many cue cards (the remainder of them were little things like 'how'd you like class?', 'let's go eat lunch' and 'see you later, Rachel') but she thought that was the cutest thing she'd ever seen and couldn't help feeling giddy inside. He was making her feel special during the most vulnerable moments in her life.

No matter how much fun she was having however, she kept feeling a little twinge of guilt in her heart. She hadn't told Finn that she and Jessie had broken up yet. She knew she should just get out a pen and write on some cue cards to tell him, but she didn't feel brave enough. And she was enjoying how things were between them today. She didn't want to ruin their refurnished friendship.

Finn met her in glee club at the end of the day. He was already inside sitting down and when she walked in, he grinned at her and patted the seat beside him cheekily. Her heard swelled and she practically ran to sit next to him. When she got there he did something that really surprised her. He swung his arm over her shoulder and pulled him gently to his side, comforting her, she knew, in case she got depressed by being in glee club when she couldn't sing.

Just by having Finn by her side (he didn't keep his arm around her the whole time, but when he did remove it, before her heart could even start sinking, he grabbed onto her hand and held on for the rest of the lesson) made her able to happily watch the others have the spotlight.

Finn was terribly happy and comfortable sitting with Rachel, holding her hand and watching everyone perform (he didn't get asked to perform anything though, which he didn't even bother questioning because he was so happy not performing) until the end of the lesson when Mr. Schue announced that in the next week everyone was to perform a solo or duet in front of the class. And that it had to be a solo that reflected something important in their lives at the moment.

He paled and suddenly felt a little sick. He knew exactly what song would be perfect but he wondered, would he have the nerve?

Mr. Schue pointed at him. "Seeing as you didn't sing today, Finn, I'd like you to do yours first tomorrow, alright? Do you think you can manage that?"

Finn swallowed and nodded.

He didn't know if he could do this. But Finn Hudson was going to try. It was his time to be completely honest.

Finn walked Rachel to her locker after rehearsals and she could tell he had something on his mind because he was frowning and barely seemed to notice where he was going. Rachel desperately wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she couldn't of course. She ground her teeth together in frustration.

When she reached her locker, Finn kept walking like he hadn't even noticed they'd arrived there. He turned his head and noticing that Rachel wasn't beside him anymore he whirled around and saw her standing at her locker, looking after him in concern.

He turned pink and walked back towards her, smiling awkwardly. He looked down and reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out a few more cue cards.

He looked up and smiled at her, holding up the first one. It just said "I'm sorry."

Rachel smiled. And nodded.

Finn grinned and held up the last cue card. "See you tomorrow, Rachel."

Rachel put up her hand and waved. Finn gave her his smile again and she stood watching him walk away until she couldn't see him anymore.

That night Finn couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about what he was planning on doing the next day in glee and how Rachel would respond to it.

Would she like it?

Would she hate it?

Would she dump Jessie for him?

Would she tell him she just wanted to be friends?

Would she kiss him?

Would she slap him in the face?

He just had no idea what to expect from tomorrow, but he was going to take that risk no matter what the cost.

That night Rachel slept peacefully, Finn's words and smiling face in her dreams.

She'd found a cue card hidden in her pencil case while she was going her homework. It said: "Sweet dreams. Don't let the bed bugs bite XX."

Rachel smiled in her sleep.


	10. Risk

**Chapter 8: Risk**

Finn didn't sleep at all. Instead he'd spent the night going over the lyrics to the song he was going to sing, over and over again.

They didn't stop circulating in his mind as he had his shower, got dressed, ate breakfast, drove to school, met Rachel at her locker with the same cue cards, went to class – he got in trouble about 10 times throughout the day for not paying attention to the teacher and getting answers wrong more than usual – and had recess and lunch break. Rachel seemed to notice something was up with him and he was glad she couldn't talk to ask him.

When it was finally time to go to glee club, Finn felt surprisingly excited instead of nervous. He needed to get this over with so the damn song would stop messing around with his mind.

Everyone else was already there when he arrived with Rachel and straight away Finn walked towards the piano guy to give him the sheet music. Then he walked to stand in the middle of the room facing everyone. He looked at Rachel and she smiled at him.

Mr. Schue then said. "Show us what you've got then, Finn."

Finn cleared his throat and the band started playing the opening notes. Finn looked at Rachel and she seemed to gasp as she recognised the song before he'd even started singing.

He didn't take his eyes off her as he began to sing the first verse of "Jessie's Girl."

The choir room was quiet, everyone staring at Finn in shock and awe. He looked away from Rachel's blushing face and awkwardly looked around at everyone else.

Finally, everyone started to cheer and some of them walked up to him and patted him on the back. He heard words of congratulations, but he barely paid attention to them. He had looked back at Rachel and couldn't take his eyes off her. She was staring right back of him on blankly and her face seemed to be getting redder and redder.

Finn barely heard Mr. Schue tell everyone to take a seat while he praised Finn's confidence at letting everyone know he felt.

Was it suddenly really hot in here? He reached up and felt his face. It was hot. He was blushing like crazy. And suddenly he felt like he couldn't stay in the room any longer. Tearing his eyes away from Rachel he turned without a word and ran from the room.

Rachel and the rest of glee club stared after Finn in shock. Rachel felt like she was stone. She wanted so badly to get out of her seat and sprint after Finn, but she couldn't move. She vaguely heard Mr. Schue say that someone should go after him and she thought she felt his eyes on her, but she ignored it. For once in her life, she had no idea what to do. She heard Kurt say he'd go and see if Finn was alright and she didn't have the energy to try and stop him.

She couldn't believe what had just happened. What Finn had just so openly shown to everyone. He had sang "Jessie's Girl" and she just couldn't believe it. It meant so much to her that he had purposefully chosen this song to sing to her and she felt stupid for never wishing he'd sing it to her before. It was perfect. It made her happy that he had chosen to sing it, because it really proved what she still hoped. That Finn had real feelings for and was serious enough about it to show everyone in glee. He liked her. He _liked _her. And he wanted her to be his. She couldn't believe it.

Rachel paid no attention to what the others were singing. She just sat deep in thought until she felt everyone moving around her towards the door and she finally looked up, coming out of her daze.

Mr. Schue was looking at her in concern. "Are you alright, Rachel?" He asked her.

Rachel nodded numbly, got up slowly like she might fall over if she moved too fast and slowly walked out of the room.

Finn drove home as soon as he left glee. He needed to get away from there and think. He didn't know if Rachel was going to follow him, so he left as quickly as he could. He didn't want to know what she felt about him singing that song. He didn't know if he could take it if it was rejection. He felt insecure and he felt like crying.

Why had he been so stupid?

He remembered Rachel's blank face and cringed.

What had he expected anyway? That she would throw herself at him and kiss him senseless as soon as he stopped singing? Or better yet, before he even started?

Sure. He'd dreamed of that but he hadn't expected it. He wasn't that stupid.

So why did he feel so disappointed?

He had taken a risk and it was for nothing.

Rachel didn't care about him. She just loved Jessie.

Finn felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

The next day Finn didn't want to go to school but his Mum made him get up and threatened to drive him to school if he didn't go. Usually his Mum would have been fine with him staying home but when he explained what was wrong, she told him that it was better to face it rather than try and run away from it.

So, he went to school feeling incredibly nervous about seeing Rachel and how she was going to act with him today. But maybe Rachel wasn't even at school. Maybe he had embarrassed her so much that she'd decided to take the day off and spend the day in Jessie's pants.

He clenched his fists at the thought and almost ran himself off the road.

_Keep a hold of yourself, Hudson. It's going to fine._

Shut up.

But Finn was in for the surprise of his life.

When he walked into the locker area towards his locker, he found Rachel standing by his locker looking incredibly nervous. His heart sped up so fast he felt like he was having a "heart attack". One much worse than the last time in Quinn's bathroom.

When she heard him approaching her awkwardly, she looked up and smiled at him shyly. He reached her and looked at her, giving her a small and nervous smile.

She held up a cue card. "Hello, Finn. I'm sorry about yesterday."

Finn stared. Why was she saying sorry? He was the one that was sorry!

She flipped it over. "Can you meet me at the choir room after school? I really have to talk to you about something."

Finn smiled and nodded. She smiled at him and walked away.

_See what did I say?_

Oh, will you shut up I said?

He smiled to himself.

Rachel waited in the choir room at the end of the day. She kicked herself for being so early because waiting was the worst thing for nerves. Her heart was beating really fast and her palms were so slippery she kept dropping her cue cards.

Finally, Finn stepped into the room and the door closed behind him.

He held up a hand as a greeting and walked towards her nervously.

Rachel smiled and waited until he sat down beside her before she started.

He sat down and she stood up and walked to stand in front of him.

He stared at her quizzically and grinned when she moved her hands from behind her back to show him she was holding a stack of cue cards.

"Thanks for coming."

Finn smiled.

"I have something really important to tell you Finn."

Finn stared at her before she moved on to the next cue card.

"And I am truly sorry I didn't tell you this sooner…

"I was scared about what would happen to our friendship…

"But it is time you knew that…

"Jessie and I are not together anymore."

Finn stared at her in shock as she paused before hesitantly continuing.

"I've been really grateful for everything…

"That you've done for me the last couple days…

"And you have to know that what you did yesterday was…

"The sweetest thing ever but it was also wrong because…"

Finn frowned.

"I'm not Jessie's girl, Finn…"

"I'm yours."

Finn looked up at her in shock and she was smiling at him and little tears were in her eyes. They stared at each other for a second before Finn laughed out loud and jumped off his seat.

He walked towards Rachel and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her enthusiastically. She kissed him back and laughed against his mouth as he lifted her up off the ground.


	11. Too Soon

**Chapter 9: Too Soon**

The next few days were the best of Finn and Rachel's lives. The both finally had what they really wanted and were spending as much time as possible together, which was still not enough to quench their addiction of each other.

They were all lovey dovey with each other wherever they went, causing the other glee club members and any other respective student to yell out things like 'GET A ROOM' and 'KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS.' Rachel and Finn didn't care though, they were too happy to be bothered about what other people thought and to even notice how "gross" they were together in the eyes of other students.

The glee club were the most annoyed. The couple's infatuation over each other meant that they were increasingly less interested in team work (whenever Rachel and Finn sang together they stood there singing to each other so intently they forgot to do the choreography and also that they weren't the only ones in the club). For Kurt and Mercedes is was the most annoying because, they reasoned, at least in the past Rachel and Finn had included them in group numbers; now it just seemed they were being pushed into the background even more. Mr. Schue tried to talk to Rachel and Finn, but there were unable to realise what exactly they were doing wrong (probably because they barely listened as they were too busy staring at each other.)

But the glee club needn't have worried or, in any case, should have been happy with the way the club was presently working because things were just going to be getting worse.

On Monday, four days after Finn and Rachel had finally got together (during which time Finn took Rachel on their first date to a fancy restaurant, they spent a couple of hours making out on the hood of Finn's car in front of the sunset after they told each other the loved each other for the first time; they met each other's parents and spent the rest of their time making other students gag towards their cute couple-ness) Santana decided it was high time to go ahead with her plan to be Head Cheerleader, a plan that she knew Sue Sylvester would be very pleased with. Time to kill two birds with one stone.

When Rachel walked into school that morning, she was surprised to find Santana waiting at her locker rather than Finn. Santana was looking at her with an expression of anger and superiority that Rachel considered Santana's trademark look, but it was also one that had not been steadily thrown in the direction of Rachel many times before.

She walked towards Santana cautiously, curious and scared of the reason why Santana was waiting at _her_ locker. What would Santana possibly want with her?

"Hey, Berry." Santana said when Rachel made it to her locker and Santana moved aside so that she was directly in front of Rachel's locker, making it impossible for Rachel to open it.

"Berry?" Rachel stammered. "I didn't know we were on last name basis, Lopez."

"Oh, very funny Preppy," Santana smirked. "So, obviously I wouldn't usually go out of my way to talk to you, but I'm desperate and we definitely have something to talk about.

"What?" Rachel asked, annoyed and curious.

Santana smiled wickedly. "Finn Hudson."

Rachel frowned. "Why would we talk about Finn? We are together now, but I don't think that has anything to do with you."

"Oh, but it does. It really does," Santana said, crossing her arms.

Rachel stared at her and raised her eyebrows. "How come?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Hasn't he told you? He's my man, Pippy Long Stockings, and you are just in the way, a distraction."

Rachel shook her head. "No, that's not true. Finn's with me."

"Well, of course you'd believe that wouldn't you? But actually, he's with me. I mean, as if a guy would chose your Grandma looks next to someone has hot as me," Santana smirked, flicking her hair.

Rachel paled and mumbled "you – you're lying. It's not true. Finn loves me. He told me."

Santana rolled her eyes. "He was lying. I mean, seriously, what planet do you live on? Did you know I took Finnie's virginity a few weeks ago?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes, he told me, but that was just the once – "

Santana shook her head and laughed. "Oh, sweetie, you really are so innocent aren't you? Finn and I have had sex a lot more times than once. We've had sex at least 10 times and one of those times was last night."

Rachel stared at Santana in shock and suddenly felt like crying. "B – but Fi – Finn was at m – my house last night."

Santana rolled her eyes again. "He came to mine afterwards and he said he was so horny for me he just couldn't stay away, because, obviously, you weren't giving him any."

Rachel suddenly felt like vomiting and her whole face was turning a deep red in anger and hurt. She opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a small sniffle.

Santana smirked and put on a patrionising face. "Oh, you poor thing," she drawled before snapping "so, stay away from my Finnie and go back to your Jessie, clear?" before turning on her heel and walking off towards Sue's office.

Rachel didn't move. She felt numb, confused, hurt, betrayed, angry, and brokenhearted. She had really thought that Finn cared for her but it turned out that he didn't, of course. How could she be so stupid? How could Finn have ever really cared about her? He'd just tried to use her as side dish for when he wasn't in Santana's bed.

Tears started rolling down her cheeks as she blinding walked away from her locker and back towards the front entrance. She couldn't stay in school today. She couldn't see Finn; she had to get away from the school as quickly as possible.

She got to her car without seeing Finn arrive and no one noticed her crying her heart out or if they did, they didn't ask her what was wrong because no one cared. No one really cared for anyone else properly, did they?

She drove home without killing herself, though only barely and as soon as she got herself inside her house she ran up to her room and flung herself onto her bed.

She cried and cried, letting all her hurt and anger towards Finn come out. Her pillow got drenched in her tears, but she didn't notice. She didn't think she could ever be happy again and all she wanted to do was lie there and cry until she died.

After another hour, though, Rachel's crying subsided and she finally got up and wiped her eyes on her hands. She reached for her bag and pulled out her phone. There were 10 missed calls. She ground her teeth when she saw who they were from.

She furiously typed in a text message (in capital letters) and sent it to Finn.

Then, just like the last time Finn had hurt her, she called Jessie.

The text message said:

"I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND SANTANA, YOU CHEAT! WE ARE OVER. RACHEL."

Finn's phone had buzzed during Spanish and when he read the message, he couldn't believe his eyes and was confused and hurt. He couldn't understand it. "I know about you and Santana." What did that mean? Hadn't he already told Rachel about that one time he slept with Santana. Finn had been sure they were passed that… so what could this be about? He was no "cheat" he couldn't believe she would think that.

But the most hurtful and confusing part of the text was the "We are over." How could they be over when Finn hadn't even seen her today and they hadn't even spoken about it? If Finn knew one thing it was that break up's through texts didn't count.

No, he had to speak to Rachel and see what was going on. He'd drive over to her house straight after school and find out what was going on.

He'd called 10 times today before he got the message but she never answered her phone. It hadn't bothered him too much; he just expected that she'd stayed at home sick and was sleeping when he rang.

After Spanish he rang her again, this time nervously due to the coldness of the text message, but she didn't answer. He tried again and again, but same result.

What had he done that she was so obviously mad at him for? What did Santana have to do with it? Whatever it was it must be bad, because it wasn't like Rachel to not confront him face to face like she had in the past. Finn had to find out and whatever it was he had to make it up to her.

As he left for his car at the end of the day, he saw Santana walking towards him, her hips swaying. She yelled out "hey, wait right there, Finn" so he waited for her, not wanting to be rude.

"What's up?" he asked when she reached him.

Santana smiled. "I was just wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me this weekend. We can go and get busy."

Finn stared at her. "What? Why would I want to do that? I'm with Rachel now."

Santana smirked. "Well, word has it that you and Rachel aren't together anymore. I heard she's back together with Jessie."

Finn went pale. "No, she isn't. Something is wrong with us at the moment but I'm just on my way to sort it out."

Santana shook her head and put a hand on Finn's arm. "I wouldn't do that. Rachel is probably having hot sex with Jessie on her bedroom floor right now. You wouldn't want to see that now would you?"

In Finn's mind he saw an image of Jessie and Rachel writhing around together on the floor like eels. He felt bile come up in his throat.

"Didn't think so," Santana said, looking at Finn's pained expression. "But, seriously, Finn. Your best chance is to date me, ok? I'm much better for you, don't you think?"

And with that Santana reached over and kissed Finn on the mouth hard. Finn didn't respond, he barely noticed except for the fact that he felt altogether sick with Santana's mouth on his because it reminded him of that dreaded night in the hotel where everything had started going horrifyingly wrong.

Santana smirked at him before turning on her heel and walking away. Finn stared after her not really seeing her and only seeing Rachel's face in his head.

He shook his head and clenched his fists. He decided to still go and try and sort things out with Rachel so he got into his car and headed towards her house, his mind spinning. 

_So, what are you going to say to her Finn?_

I don't know. I'll come up with something.

_Yeah, right. You know you're not good on your feet. You need a plan otherwise you'll just end up drooling all over yourself._

Yeah. Of course. Well… then I'll… I'll… I'll tell her… I'll just say that… I… I

_Oh, Jesus, will you stop acting like a babbling baboon PLEASE? You're making me sick._

Right. Sorry. But I don't know what I'm supposed to say to her because I have no idea what the problem is, do I?

_Looks like we're in trouble, then, partner._

Yeah.

_God, I'm smart._

No, you're dumb. I already knew we were in trouble.

_Whatever._

Rachel waited outside her front door for Jessie to arrive. Finally she saw his car come around the corner and she smiled widely. But her smile faded as she saw another car following Jessie's car driving towards her house. She knew that car and as soon as she saw it her breath fell short and her heart sped up super fast. How could he dare to come and see her? Well, she was going to show him just how much he didn't mean to her.

Jessie got out of his car as Finn's car stopped on the other side of the road. Rachel could see Finn looking out towards through his car window. She gritted her teeth and looked back to Jessie.

"Jessie, hey!" she called out to him, running towards him happily.

He grinned at her. "Hey, Rachel, it's nice to see you again."

Rachel nodded and smiled brightly before jumping onto him and giving him a big hug. "It really is. Thanks so much for coming back to me, Jessie. I've missed you so much."

Jessie smiled and put her hand against her cheek. "My pleasure," he said before capturing her lips with his own.

Rachel sank into him and flung her arms around Jessie's neck, twinning her fingers into his hair to draw him closer to her. And out of the corner of her eye she could see Finn watching them through his window before he slowly drove away and out of sight.


	12. Confrontation

**Chapter 10: Confrontation **

As Finn drove home, his heart was sinking further and further towards his feet and he felt so drained he ended up having to pull over onto the side of the road in fear that he might get into an accident, not that he wouldn't have minded dying much because it already felt like he had.

He sat in his car on the side of the road for half an hour, which was just enough time to make himself calm down, but no where near enough time to get over the heartbreak he felt, of course.

He was gutted. He felt like, in the one minute that he saw Rachel in Jessie's arms, he had lost everything. Again. He was right back to the beginning. He was right back to singing 'Jessie's Girl' and meaning every word with all of his heart. He was right back to feeling like the biggest idiot who mad the biggest mistake in his life when he broke up with Rachel weeks ago. He felt so idiotic and heartbroken that the little voice in his head didn't even try to annoy him with its false smartness and ridicule.

He was a complete mess. He didn't what he was supposed to do next, what had even happened between him and Rachel (though he was smart enough to suspect that Santana had said something to Rachel that was completely untrue) and he was confused as to why Rachel could so easily go back to Jessie without even talking to Finn in anyway (that text message did not count, he was adamant to that.)

There was only one conclusion he could bring from these questions and it made his heart ache and his eyes start to leak waterfalls of tears as soon as he thought it:

Rachel just didn't love him.

But he wasn't going to give up just yet. He loved her too much and he had to know why she had left him. Time for confrontation.

When Jessie left her, Rachel went straight back up to her room and sat down on her bed, feeling numb and confused.

She had had a nice night with Jessie and her dads. Before her dads had gotten home, she and Jessie just made out on her bed. He didn't try to pressure her into having sex with her like that first time they made out on her bed (she was very glad he didn't because if he did she thought she would probably have slapped him in the face and given up on dating him, due to her mental emotions at that point in time) and it was nice. Just really nice. It didn't make her heart beat super hard in her chest and it didn't make her insides melt and it didn't make her every sense feel so alive, like it did with…

but she mustn't think of that. Jessie was brilliant and she couldn't find anyone better for her than him. He got along really well with her dads and they had all had a nice dinner together, although Rachel hadn't been able to eat anything.

It was a nice night and there was nothing wrong with nice.

So why did Rachel feel so horrible? She had thought she would feel better after having Jessie around, but she didn't feel better at all. She still felt like she had lost everything and she had hoped Jessie would make up for it, but he didn't.

Not that she didn't like Jessie, because she really did. He was talented, confidant and so much like her it wasn't even funny. But, tonight he hadn't done enough to get rid of the big hole in her heart that had been punched out of her that morning.

Nevertheless, Rachel thought, I am going to keep trying with Jessie. It will get better and we will be the perfect couple and I will finally be happy with the one guy that truly deserves my love.

But as she fell asleep that night she couldn't help but let Finn's face crop up into her dreams. She tried to shrug him off, but he just kept hanging on.

The next day Finn got to school half an hour earlier and waited for Rachel at her locker so they could talk.

But Rachel never turned up. He even waited for her long enough to be 15 minutes late for his first class and she never even turned up.

Was she wagging school today? That didn't really sound like Rachel, she'd even come to school when she had laryngitis.

No. Finn had to guess that Rachel was simply avoiding him again. She was clever so he was sure she had come up with a way to not even use her locker for the whole day.

But, Finn mused, she couldn't hide from him in Glee Club and there was no way that she was going to be missing any chance to put a spotlight on her talent.

So, Finn spent the day wondering how he was going to get Rachel to talk to him privately after Glee club. He didn't see her for the whole day (she was certainly getting good at hiding from him) but then Finn gave up looking around for by lunchtime, having decided to putt all of his efforts into speaking to her at Glee.

Finally, the last bell rang and it was time to go to rehearsals. Finn ran there and didn't go to his locker first so he would be there first. He waited for ten minutes until the rest of the Glee Club came and he remembered how clever Rachel was. She ended up being the last one to arrive, so last that Mr. Schue had almost gotten very concerned as to why Rachel Berry was so late. She dashed in and mumbled a hurried apology and sat down on the chair furthest away from Finn and closest to the door.

Finn cursed himself at being so stupid. Why had he decided to be so early and why hadn't he sat down on the seat closest to the door? Idiot!

So he didn't get a chance to talk to Rachel and didn't even get a chance to be any closer to her either (Rachel insisted that Mercedes should sing lead today instead of her so Finn ended up singing with the chocolate thunder instead.)

But, Finn mused, as Rachel dashed out of the door at the end of rehearsals and Finn followed her, but to no prevail seeing as the other glee club members got in the way of his pursuit, Rachel wasn't going to be so lucky tomorrow. He was going to corner her, he just had to.

Rachel felt triumphant that night for avoiding and ignoring Finn so well, but in the back of her mind she knew that she probably wouldn't be that successful the next day. Finn was stupid, but he wasn't completely stupid.

She barely slept that night, dreading the moment when she would come face to face with Finn, which would surely be when her whole resolve would spill over.

Finn woke in the morning feeling entirely un-rested. He had spent all night going over and over his plan in his head, so he hadn't slept a wink.

He got up out of bed and looked at himself in the mirror. Yep, he looked like a zombie. The downside to that was that Rachel was more likely to run away from him at her first glace. He looked hideous. He shrugged. She'd already been running from him anyway, so what difference did it make?

He'd decided the night before to get to school an hour earlier, but not to wait at Rachel's locker this time. There was only one car park into the school, but there were two entrances, Finn knew that Rachel always entered the school by the main entrance, so he decided to go out on a whim and hideout in the big bushes outside the side entrance to spring her if she decided to enter that way today in an effort to throw him off.

So, for about 40 minutes, Finn sat hunched behind the bushes (which was really quite uncomfortable considering how tall he was and how much smaller the bush was compared to how big he'd originally thought it was) keeping a lookout for Rachel.

On the 40 minute mark he saw her. She was looking anxious and looking around her in all directions as she hurried towards the door. But when she passed the bush that Finn was hiding behind, he stood up to follow her and fell backwards.

His legs had fallen asleep, making him unable to stand up and walk properly. His fall made a loud crash that stopped Rachel in her tracks and made her whip around. She must have seen his foot poking out of the bushes, because she gave a small gasp and ran off.

Finn groaned as he watched Rachel's legs run off and he hit himself in the hid. Clumsy, clumsy idiot!

_You really are._

Oh, will you shut up?

_Sorry. But I have been quiet for awhile and I couldn't resist – _

PISS OFF!

_Jesus. ALL RIGHT!_

Finn ground his teeth and clenched his fists. He managed to get himself up and out from behind the bush. He did some stretches and mentally told himself not to ever hide behind a bush again. (The voice in his head didn't comment on this, but Finn could tell it really wanted to).

So, he had stuffed up again, but he was going to make up for it later.

Finn grudgingly set off to class, muttering his next plan to himself.

After class he dashed off towards the janitor's closet, which was right next to where Rachel happened to be having her next class. He knew that Rachel would really hate him for this (it was a rather violent plan and the closet smelt horrible) but if he could do it right, it was almost the perfect place to talk. At least they were alone here.

He got inside the closet and put his ear up to the door, trying to listen for the sound of Rachel. He knew the exact way that she walked and was hoping that as soon as he heard her walking passed, he'd open the door, grab her and force her inside with him.

So he listened hard and sure enough, after about a minute, he heard Rachel walking towards the classroom. She was always the first to class, so it wouldn't be difficult to get her without anyone else seeing.

Listening harder, he heard her footsteps get even closer and he took a deep breath and waited a few seconds. Then as soon as he heard her footsteps right on the other side of the door handle, he opened the door suddenly, grabbed her arm and pulled her inside.

She shrieked as he pulled her inside and struggled to get away, but he easily managed to get her inside (after all, if there was one thing Finn was better at it had everything to do with his muscles.)

He closed the door quickly and Rachel was still shrieking and whimpering and trying to get out, but he stood in front of the door and forced her to be squished into the back of the closet.

"Hey, Rachel," he said, smiling slightly. "Long time no see."

She glared at him. "What on earth do you think you're doing, Finn Hudson? And why are you doing it in a horrid place like this?"

Finn sighed. "I'm sorry. I know this room stinks and stuff, but I really need to talk to you and you haven't been giving me many chances, so I had to come up with something drastic."

Rachel glared still harder, her face getting red. "Oh, you wanted to talk did you? Well, it's a bit late for that and anyway, I need to get to class other wise I will not be maintaining my perfect grades!"

Finn sighed. "I know, Rachel, but not being in one class isn't going to hurt is it? And what we need to talk about is much more important, isn't it?"

"IS IT? Well, I certainly don't think so. Nothing you have to say is ever important, Finn Hudson! LET ME OUT' Rachel screamed at him.

Finn swallowed and looked away from her. This was going to be harder than he thought. "No," he said. "I won't let you out. We need to talk, Rachel, and we are not leaving this smelly closet until we do."

"Whatever, Finn. People are going to hear us and when they do, I'll be out of her and you'll be suspended for sexual harassment!"

Finn groaned. "Rachel, no. Please don't be like this. Can we just talk? I really need to talk to you."

Rachel didn't answer and looked way from him.

Finn took that as a development (at least she hadn't yelled at her again) and he took a deep breath and started to talk to her softly.

"Rachel, what's happened between us? Everything was so good before… what happened on Monday to change that?"

Rachel glared at him. "Oh, don't give me that. You know exactly what happened and its all your fault for ruining everything with your stupid lies!."

Finn shook his head and looked at her pleadingly. "Lies? What lies? I haven't been lying to you, I swear! You just suddenly stopped talking to me and I have no idea why. Can you just tell me what I've done wrong? Please, Rachel."

Rachel stared at him in anger and then burst out. "You're a liar Finn! You just keep lying to me, all the time! I should never have trusted you! Come on, Finn, you know what you've been lying about!"

Finn sighed. "I know I've lied before but I swear – "

But Rachel interrupted him. "You're really going to make me say it myself and make myself look even more like an idiot?" She let out a sob and tears started pouring from her eyes.

Finn looked at her and waited.

Rachel drew in a shaky breath before she opened her mouth to speak. "Santana came up to me Monday morning and she told me the truth!" Rachel whimpered, glaring at him. "You've been with her all this time, having sex with her because I'm not giving it up to you and you – you've been with Santana this whole time!"

Finn stared at her in shock. "No, Rachel" he rasped. He was having trouble to find the right words but couldn't seem to get them out. "That's not – that's not true, Rachel. Santana, she's – "

Rachel snorted and let out another sob, wiping her nose. "Yeah, whatever, Finn… don't even try to get out of this one… I'm not falling for your lies again… EVER!"

Finn reached out to touch her arm and she drew away sharply. "Don't touch me!" she yelped.

Finn swallowed. "Rachel, I swear on my life that I was never with Santana. She is just lying to benefit herself. You know how Santana is… I've only ever really cared about one girl and that girl is – "

Rachel stamped her foot (Finn would have laughed if the moment wasn't so serious because it was rather cute). "I'm not listening to any of this anymore, Finn. We're over! For good, okay? You're a liar and I HATE YOU because you've broken my heart and it's never going to get better!"

Finn started to cry. "Rachel, please… I never did anything to hurt you, why can't you just listen to me. Rachel, I – "

"LET ME OUT!" Rachel screamed and she ran forwards and pummeled her fists at Finn's chest. "LET ME OUT NOW!"

Finn wiped his eyes and feeling completely dejected as he felt the girl he loved punching him and heard her yelling angrily at him, he turned around and opened the door.

And when he stepped out he was faced with a group of students who had obviously been listening to their whole conversation, as well as a few teachers.

Finn swallowed and hoped they hadn't noticed his bloodshot eyes.

"Oh, uh… hello…everyone…." he mumbled before quickly running off in the other direction. Rachel rushed off towards the girl's bathroom, her head down and her face red and blotchy.

And on the sidelines, Santana Lopez watched with a large smirk on her face.

**~Hope you enjoyed that. More will come in a week or so =)~**


	13. In The Basement

**~I'm back to updating =). This chapter leaves Finn and Rachel behind and see's them interacting with other characters (Jesse and Kurt). It was my speculation on Theatricality. Hope you enjoy!~**

**Chapter 11: In the Basement**

Crying was something any talented star had to accomplish if they wanted to be successful. Rachel had always known how to cry on demand and it had always been very easy for her.

But now she hoped more than anything that she had been born without tear ducts because, at this point in time, that would have made everything so much easier for her. Running out of school with tears streaking down your face was a sure way for everyone to see just how upset you were. If she had been able to stop crying, she would have been able to run passed everyone without being noticed. They might have just taken her red face as a sign of exercise.

Then again, Rachel thought, as she made it to her car, got in and locked the doors so no one could come in and disturb her, it was probably better to be seen coming out of the janitors closet crying from anger, rather than be seen with a red face, which would probably make everyone think she and Finn had been doing something very sexual in there. There was no way she could have that. It was much better if they all recognised that Finn was an idiot who could not be trusted. Though, of course, everyone would probably side with him, anyway, as she was not popular.

She sighed and wiped her eyes. She felt stressed, like she was feeling too many emotions at once that she couldn't even tell what they were. She didn't want to think about what happened and at the same time could barely remember it. It had all seemed to happen so quickly. She had been in this tiny enclosed place with Finn, the boy that had broken her heart and the boy she couldn't stop loving. She had almost given up on her anger at him and thrown herself at him to kiss him. It was very hard to resist, but she somehow managed to and had punched him instead.

She had also almost believed what he was saying, though exactly what that had been was hard to remember because she had been so angry at the time. It had been something about how Santana had just been lying to her and he hadn't done anything wrong but… Rachel couldn't believe that. She just couldn't give in.

She and Finn weren't going to be running around each other in circles any longer. That seemed like all they did. They were friends, they fought, they were friends, they got together, they fought, they avoided each other, they were friends, they lied to each other, they avoided each other….

But that wasn't going to happen anymore. It was incredibly unhealthy. They just couldn't be friends or be together ever again. Oh, hell…

Rachel hated that idea and started to sob again. She didn't think she could do that, but she would have to try starting now, for the benefit of her sanity and success.

Wiping her eyes once more, Rachel sat up and started her car. It was time to go home to begin Rachel Berry's life minus Finn Hudson.

Mr. Schue found Finn sitting by himself in a corner of the auditorium.

Finn had rushed there straight after the Closet Incident, not wanting to have to interact with anyone, and had rushed straight into the darkest corner of the auditorium stage. He sat there on the ground, his arms around his legs and his head resting on his knees. Tears splashed down from his eyes, but he didn't try to stop crying. In his mind he was just repeating the same word over and over again. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.

Mr. Schue had been looking for him for half an hour around the school before Mr. Schue finally tried the auditorium. When he got inside he heard muffled crying coming from the back of the stage. He rushed up to Finn right away and sat down next to him, putting an arm around him.

Finn barely seemed to notice that someone was with him and he didn't try to throw Mr. Schue off. He just kept on crying for awhile, and Mr. Schue patiently sat there holding him.

Finally, Finn stopped crying and looked up at them all wiping his eyes. He smiled sheepishly at Mr. Schue, trying to act a little tough but the pretense was wasted as his smile wobbled and his face sank into a blank and defeated expression.

Mr. Schue looked at Finn intently and cleared his throat.

"Hey, Finn," he said, gently. "What's happened?"

Finn shook his head. "I… I don't want to talk about it, Mr. Schue…"

Mr. Schue nodded. "Of course. Well, if you ever want to talk about it, all you have to do is ask."

Finn nodded, staring at his feet.

Mr. Schue patted him on the back. "Ok, then… would you like me to drive me home or call your mum?"

Finn shook his head quickly and slowly stood up. "Nah, that's ok, Mr. Schue… I'll – I'll drive home myself. Mum will be getting dressed… we're going to Kurt's tonight…" he mumbled.

"Are you sure?"

Finn nodded.

"Ok, well… have fun tonight, Finn. I'm sure Kurt will be able to cheer you up; he was really worried about you before."

Finn smiled slightly. "Yeah, maybe. Thanks Mr. Schue."

Mr. Schue nodded and Finn turned and left the auditorium, Mr. Schue looking after him.

Five minutes after Rachel got home, when she had just swept herself across her bed, she heard a knock on the front door. She sat bolt upright and ran to her window. It couldn't be –?

No. She looked down through the window and saw Jessie's car parked in the driveway. She sighed, feeling relieved and also a tiny bit disappointed (although she didn't admit that to herself) and rushed to her mirror to check herself. Her face was still a little blotchy, but at least there was no sign of tears on her face anymore (she hadn't cried one tear in the last 10 minutes), so she thought she looked presentable enough. Jessie would take her red face as excitement at seeing him.

She dashed downstairs and opened the door. As soon as the door opened Jessie grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug. "Uh… Rachel. I've missed you," he said before pulling his head back and giving her a big kiss. She sank into the kiss happily, willing herself to forget the past.

When they pulled away from each other, Rachel smiled at him. "This is a nice surprise. I didn't know you were visiting me today."

Jessie smiled as they walked inside and Rachel turned to shut the door. "Well, I had nothing on, already finished my homework, of course, so I thought: what better way to spend the afternoon than with my Rachel." He grinned at her. "Should I have called? I didn't interrupt anything did I?"

Rachel shook her head. "Oh, no. I only just got back from school. It's really great that you're here, Jessie. Want something to drink?"

"Please, but I'll get it myself. What would you like?" Jessie asked, taking her hand and dragging her into the kitchen.

Rachel giggled. "Orange juice, please."

Jessie rolled his eyes. "You and your orange juice."

"Well, then, what are you having?" Rachel pouted.

Jessie smiled. "Me? Well, I, Jessie St. James, am having…" he paused for dramatic effect. "Apple Juice! It's much more civilised."

Rachel laughed and shook her head. This was what she liked about Jessie. Nothing felt complicated when she was with him; she could just be, without worrying about it. Jessie was fun and easy to understand because they had so much in common. And she loved that about their relationship. It was so different to her and –

Rachel shook her head. "Come on, shall we go and sit in the lounge?" she asked as Jessie handed over her orange juice.

Jessie nodded. "Of course. After you," he prompted, following Rachel into the lounge room.

Rachel sat down on the sofa, but before Jessie took a seat he set down his apple juice on the coffee table and pointed towards a door in the corner.

"Where's that lead to? I've never noticed it before.

Rachel looked towards where he was pointing. "Oh, that. That's just the door down to our basement. We keep a lot of things down there… mostly old trophies of mine that can't fit in the house," she said, smiling.

Jessie grinned. "Can we go and have a poke around?"

Rachel shrugged. "Sure. I don't see why not."

The basement was filled with a number of things, including shelves of trophies and medals and about 30 large boxes that were lined around the edge of the room.

"Nice trophies," Jessie commented, peering at them. "You really are a superstar aren't you?"

Rachel smiled.

"What's in all those boxes?" Jessie asked, walking over to the nearest one.

Rachel shrugged. "Documents and stuff, mostly. Although there are couple around that have old tapes I used like practicing with in here…" she looked around. "They should be labeled "Rachel's Music" or something."

"Well, I have just got to see those, Rachel," Jessie grinned and they went around the big room looking for the boxes labeled "Rachel's Music." Within minutes Jessie found one and they went to the middle of the room to look through it.

Rachel noticed that in this particular box there were many tapes that Rachel couldn't remember ever listening to, so she concluded that a lot of these must be her dads. They looked through the whole box, Jessie commenting on each tape with enthusiasm and, sometimes, sarcasm and Rachel watching him intently. When they reached the bottom of the box, Jessie held up the last tape and looked at it intently. He frowned and handed it over to Rachel.

It said: "For Rachel. Please listen. Love, your mother."

Rachel gasped and stared at it in shock. There was silence in the room while Rachel stared at the tape and Jessie watched her intently.

Finally, Jessie spoke. "You should go and listen to that, Rachel. I think it looks really important."

Rachel shook her head slowly, but didn't speak.

Jessie sighed and got up, holding out his hand towards Rachel's. "Come on, Rachel. I'll stay with you if you want."

Rachel looked up at him and stared. "But… I don't understand… what is this doing here after all these years? I've always been interested in who my bio mother was… but I didn't know…I didn't know there was a tape… all this time…I don't know if I can listen to it."

Jessie smiled. "I know it's a shock, but I really think you should listen to it. She, your mother, wants you to. It'll be great. You've always wanted to know your mother, right?"

Rachel nodded and reached out to take Jessie's hand. And together they walked up the stairs towards Rachel's room and her radio, where her life was going to take a new step.

Finn was in no means in the mood to be having dinner with his mother, Burt and Kurt. Though they all had been concerned for him when he and his mother arrived (everyone seemed to know about the Closet Incident and Kurt had undoubtedly explained it to his dad) he had since told them he was fine and managed to maintain his usual air of bored-ness, and occasional interest depending on the topic of conversation, that he had when the Hummel's and Hudson's got together, so they didn't question him further.

After dinner, Kurt announced that he had finally finished redecorating his bedroom (he looked at Finn pointedly at the point, which just made Finn more concerned than usual) and wanted them all to go and see it.

So, Finn followed them moodily down the stairs to Kurt's basement room. When Finn finally stepped off the bottom stair, he looked around Kurt's room.

It looked stylish, was Finn's first thought. Like one of those modern rooms you saw in those house catalogues. Everything was black and white and matching. Perfect looking.

Finn looked over at Kurt and found that Kurt was looking at him with his eyebrows raised.

Finn smiled slightly. "Wow. This is really cool, Kurt."

Kurt smiled. "Thanks. I am quite proud of it. Sure beats the entirely white look it used to have. Everything looked like it was covered in bleach."

Finn nodded. "Right. Cool."

Carole smiled at Kurt. "You should be an exterior decorator, Kurt. You've got a natural talent for it."

Kurt smiled happily. "Yes, well it could be fun. I have to put my talents to something."

Carole smiled and Finn looked away from them, feeling awkward all of a sudden. He suddenly remembered something Kurt had said to him a few weeks ago. That they would be sharing a room when he and Carole moved in and that was why Kurt was redecorating his room…

Burt cleared his throat and said "Finn. We wanted to talk to you about something," he said excitedly.

Finn turned around and looked at Burt and his mother, whose arms were around each other.

And then Carole burst out, "Burt has asked us to move in with them!"

Finn stared at his mother in shock. He was speechless.

Carole smiled at him and continued. "Kurt is happy for you two to share his bedroom. There's a spare room, but it's really small and we'd like to keep it for guests. We're going to be a family, isn't that wonderful?"

Finn frowned and looked at Burt and then over at Kurt.

Kurt raised his glass and asked "sparkling cider?"

Finn stared at him and then burst out, "I am not cool with this! You – you're talking about this like its already finalised… Like what was even the point of telling me if I don't even get a say?"

He glared at his mother. He knew he shouldn't be getting this angry, but he couldn't help it. Everything that had happened to him lately just suddenly seemed to spill over and it was all just too much for him.

Carole sighed and looked at her son a little grumpily. "I understand what you're saying, but I didn't realise you were still going to be so selfish about this. I thought we were all getting along very well, as a family."

Finn crossed his arms and snorted. "Well you got that very wrong, Mum. We don't get along well as a family. Not yet, anyway. Don't you think this is all happening a little too soon?"

Burt shook his head. "I know this is a surprise, Finn, but in the end I think that it will end up being something that will make all of us happy. Your mother and I love each other very much and we know that you and Kurt get along well. It's meant to be."

Finn just shook his head and looked away from them determinedly.

Burt looked at Carole, who was staring at Finn sadly. "Maybe we should just leave him a minute?" he asked her. She nodded and said to Finn, "Just… just think it over, sweetheart. It will be nice in the end, you'll see."

Finn didn't reply and walked over to sit on Kurt's couch. Burt and Carole turned away and headed towards the stairs. Burt looked back when Kurt didn't follow. "Kurt?"

Kurt smiled at his dad. "I'm going to stay here."

Burt nodded and followed Carole up the stairs.

For a couple of minutes it was quiet in Kurt's bedroom. Finn was sitting with his head in his hands and Kurt cautiously walked over to him and sat down next to him on the couch. After awhile, Kurt rested a hand on Finn's shoulder and spoke.

"This isn't all that's bothering you, is it?" Kurt asked, concerned.

Finn shook his head.

Kurt sighed. "Then I'm sorry our parents sprang it onto you today. My dad already told me and I asked him not to tell you yet because I knew you're under a lot of stress at the moment, but I guess, they just wanted to get it out of the way."

Finn lifted his head out of his hands and looked at Kurt. "It's ok, man. I was going to know somehow… I mean, it was going to come up eventually, wasn't it?... I just don't really know how to deal with this at the moment."

Kurt nodded. "Yeah…. So, do you want to talk about the other thing that's troubling you?"

Finn leaned backwards and rubbed his eyes. "Not really man. I just want to forget about it… not that I'm going to be able to… I mean, she's all I think about… all the damn time… how the hell am I meant to let something that important to me go?"Finn slammed his fist down onto the arm of the couch and said angrily, "I am such an idiot."

Kurt looked at him intently. "You're not an idiot, Finn."

Finn just shook his head and muttered, "Yeah, I am."

Then Kurt continued. "Well…I have to say that you are a bit dumb to get so worked up about girls all the time, especially Rachel. Because not only is she a complete drama queen, she is a girl and we all know how girls are, nothing but trouble. I've always said you should just forget all about them and – "

Suddenly Finn jumped to his feet and pointed an accusing finger at Kurt, who looked shocked at this sudden movement.

"And what? Switch to the other side?" he asked Kurt, his finger shaking slightly. "You need to set one thing straight, Kurt. Look, I've always thought that you… that you like me but you need to stop! I don't like guys. I like girls and I am always, ALWAYS going to like girls!"

Kurt's face trembled, but he opened his mouth to speak. "I – I know… I know that."

Finn stared at him. "Do you? Then why do you just keep trying to get me interested in you when you know that we can never happen? Because I'm pretty sure I've got enough to worry about concerning girls!" he asked, angrily.

Kurt stared at him and started looking a little angry, tears beginning to streak down his face. "Well, I'm sorry, Finn, that I couldn't fall in love with the right boy. It's not my fault I like you, okay? It's your fault! I – I can't help what I feel… I wish I could because then I wouldn't have all this heartbreak by liking someone that I know can never like me back because I'm not a girl! Me liking you has nothing to do with me being gay; it's just like how you feel about Rachel! It's the same thing! But I've got it much worse! Because all you have standing in your way is another boy, whereas for me, I have a whole gender! Can't you see how much harder this is for me than for you?"

Finn stared at Kurt and felt his anger passing and himself being filled with remorse. He sighed and said, "Kurt – look, I…I'm really sorry… I – "

But before he could finish what he was trying to say (though he wasn't sure what that was exactly) Burt was suddenly in the room.

He stopped slightly when he saw Finn towering over Kurt on the couch, but as soon as he saw Kurt's tear stained face he rushed forwards, pushed Finn aside and sat beside Kurt on the couch, throwing an arm over his shoulder.

He looked at his son intently and asked, "What happened, Kurt? We heard yelling, but we couldn't hear what Finn was yelling at you. What did he say?"

But before Kurt could answer (he merely wiped his eyes on his sleeve), Burt rounded on Finn.

"What did you say to him, boy? I don't care that you're Carole's son, you don't speak to my son like that without a very, very good reason."

Finn opened his mouth to answer, but Kurt spoke up first.

"It was nothing, Dad," he said, looking at his dad before glancing at Finn nervously. "He – he said sorry, can't we just forget about it?"

Burt shook his head. "I don't think so. We're going to be a family and I think everything needs to get out into the open. It's always best to have everything out in the open."

Kurt looked at his father in shock and mumbled, "Umm…ok, Dad… but I don't really think you want to hear about this… it's a little embarrassing for – "

Burt waved his hand dismissively and turned his head to look at Finn. "Finn. Go and get Carole, please. We're going to have a family discussion."

Finn stared at him for a moment before nodding and heading towards the stairs. It was going to be a long night.


	14. Trying To Keep Distance

**Chapter 12: Trying To Keep Distance**

For the next week Rachel couldn't get the sound of her mother's voice out of her mind. It followed her everywhere. While she was sleeping, in class, in glee club; it was always at the back of her mind and she found herself wishing more and more if she couldn't stop wishing that she knew her. She wanted so badly to find her and finally meet her, because she was so curious as to who she was. It was clear now to Rachel that she got her singing talent from her mother and she wanted to know if there was anything else they had in common.

Jessie had been trying to help her find out who her mother might be. But that was very difficult considering that they didn't know her last name. She hadn't summoned the courage to speak to her dads yet somehow (she thought this was because she was scared of finding out the truth), but she knew would have to soon, very very soon. They had a lot to discuss and explain.

Rachel was very appreciative of Jessie and everything he had done over the weeks to help her and make her happy. He seemed so understanding and sympathetic towards her and she couldn't help falling for him just a little more every day.

This whole finding her mother dilemma of course distracted her from her problems with Finn at the moment, which she was very glad of because she didn't want to face Finn or have anything to do with him at the moment. Life seemed easier without him around, she had decided, and she definitely thought it was for the best that they had broken up for good.

Of course there was always that big leap of the heart when she saw him at school, but she ignored it because who ever said you should really listen to your heart, anyway?

The next week (and probably the ones after that) was the worst in Finn's life. He felt he'd said that many times before, but it really did seem that his life just kept getting worse and worse.

He hadn't talked to Rachel ever since the Closet Incident (if that was even considered talking, it had been more like a screaming match, at least from Rachel's side) and he hadn't been near her at all, not even in Glee club because they were doing a Lady Gaga vs. Kiss assignment, so weren't singing and dancing with each other at all. Finn was missing Rachel like crazy, but she wouldn't give him a bar of it. She was just away in some dreamland with her arms curled around Jessie's all the time. God, they made Finn want to puke!

Santana was all up on the fact that she and Finn were dating. Everyone in school seemed to think it was the case, even though Finn tried with all his might to discourage the rumor. He had to say, though, he was glad that Santana hadn't managed to kiss him to prove the point (she had tried many times, but Finn had been too quick for her; when this was countlessly witnessed by the student body, they all decided Finn and Santana were playing a cute game of cat and mouse.) Finn at least got to be the mouse; he would have hated it even more if everyone thought he was chasing her.

Finn would have highly appreciated being able to get away from all his problems after school when he was home, but of course he was having troubles there as well. Ever since that night in Kurt's basement, things had been quite awkward between them. Neither knew how to really act around each other anymore, so the two boys just sat in uncomfortable silence whenever they were near each other. It didn't make anything easier now that Burt and Carole knew all about Kurt's crush on Finn and the real reason he had played match maker. Sure, the two parents were trying to work through it with them, but it wasn't easy. One of the only things they had managed for the pair of them was that Kurt and Finn didn't have to share a room anymore. Finn had taken over the "guest room", which was about double the size of his old room (so he had to be pleased about something.) They also created daily family discussions (which neither Finn nor Kurt contributed to at all so they were kind of useless) and made sure that their relationships with their sons and each other's sons were at least comfortable. It was a nightmare though. Finn just wished so much that Kurt didn't like him because it was such a touchy subject for the both of them… Finn found himself wishing that he could play match maker and find Kurt a boyfriend, but then he couldn't figure out if there were even any more gays in the school. He sure hadn't noticed any. Besides, he was really too stupid to match make, obviously.

Finn and the boys had been having a little trouble coming up with their Kiss numbers. They kept arguing about what songs to play (Finn and Puck not being on friendly speaking terms didn't help when these arguments arose). It wasn't until the beginning of the week that they were performing that Finn finally found the perfect "slow" song for them. It was called "Beth" and, in listening to it, Finn felt that it was a song that could maybe help him out with the whole Kurt debacle. The other guys were quite pleased with the song (though Puck grumbled a lot.)

"Why do we have to sing a slow song?" Puck had asked the room, glaring at Finn as usual.

Finn looked at him steadily. "It's a good song. We're all having problems at the moment and I think this song, sort of relates to us."

"Oh yeah?" Puck asked. "How so? Because of your fag of a brother?"

Finn glared at Puck. "I'm really sick of you talking about Kurt in that way! "

"What's your problem? You seem to get everything you want anyway, what could possibly be the matter?"

Finn shook his head. "Jeez, you're even stupider than me."

Puck laughed. "A likely story."

Finn ignored him. He couldn't be bothered explaining anything to Puck right now. Or ever, really.

So, they got practicing and it really worked. As much as he hated to admit it, his and Puck's voices sounded really good together.

He really hoped that Kurt would understand the message he was singing to him because he didn't want things to be so awkward between them anymore and he wanted to show Kurt that he did care for him, but only brotherly, of course!

Of, course, he would have loved to sing a song in dedication to his feelings for Rachel, but he didn't think he could ever have the guts to put himself out to Rachel so openly ever again.

Or so he thought.

Rachel wasn't sure how it had happened, but she had just met her mother.

Jessie had asked her to come with him to Carmel because he had to quickly pick up some sheet music he'd left that he wanted to show her. While he went off, Rachel wondered off towards the auditorium and heard it.

Her mother's voice. But it wasn't coming out of her earphones now (she'd gotten sick of getting her mother's song stuck in her head all the time so she had extracted the song off the tape and into mp3 format). And it was singing a different song, but Rachel could swear that it was definitely her voice.

Feeling nervous and curious, she went inside the auditorium and saw a dark haired woman standing on the stage and singing. She was so talented and Rachel could tell that she was beautiful, even from this distance. Trying not to disturb the singing woman, Rachel had walked quietly towards the stage.

And from the moment that the woman had turned around (Rachel realised then that it was the Vocal Adrenaline coach, Shelby C), Rachel felt her world turn upside and she felt so happy and nervous that she could barely think. She opened her mouth and said:

"Mrs. C. I'm your daughter."

And Shelby stared at her in shock before cautiously moving over to her and putting a hand on Rachel's arm.

"Rachel?" she smiled. "I'm your mother."

Rachel beamed and tears started falling from her eyes.

The Beth performance went really well. When he sang the line, Finn made sure he looked straight at Kurt and Kurt stared right back at him intently. Finn wasn't sure if he got the message but at least he had tried. He'd ask Kurt later.

As they finished the performance Finn looked over at Rachel. She looked back at him politely and clapped loudly along with everyone else.

Over the last few days Finn had noticed that Rachel had gone from looking dreamy and sometimes moody to looking happy. She walked around with her head held high and a smile plastered onto her face. Finn didn't really know how he felt about it. It made him feel a little odd, though, because he desperately wished that he knew why she was so happy and he really wanted to know how she could suddenly be so happy when he still felt terrible. It was like they were on different channels now, and even though Finn knew he should be happy for Rachel, he couldn't help feeling hurt that she was no longer suffering.

As they left the auditorium (after Kurt and the girls pretty cool performance of "Bad Romance"), he tried to catch up with her. It felt kind of weird to be approaching her again after there had been so much distance between them, but he did it anyway. He just couldn't deal with it anymore and needed to talk to her so badly it was practically killing him.

He caught up with her at her locker and when he called her name, she jumped and stopped walking. Slowly, she turned around to face him as he hurried up to her, raising her eyebrows at him.

He looked her intently. Ok, so right now she didn't exactly look as happy as usual. She must still be upset with me. Finn's insides plummeted and rose at the same time. Weird feeling.

"What do you want, Finn?" she asked him, promptly.

He quickly opened his mouth and said, "I just wanted – I just wanted to see how you are. I haven't spoken to you in awhile so – "

Rachel turned away from him as she interrupted him to open her locker, "Yes, well, we're not exactly friends anymore, are we Finn? So what would be the point of talking to each other?"

Finn sighed. "Rachel, come on. Can't – can't we be friends again, please? I can't stand this; I really miss hanging out with you, Rachel. "

Rachel turned to look at him and studied his face. She sighed and said, a little gentler. "Finn, I can't make any promises right now, but maybe – maybe we can be friends again… soon."

Finn raised his eyebrows. "Cool, but, when's soon?"

Rachel turned away again. "I'll let you know. Have a nice night, Finn."

She closed her locker and started walking away.

Finn followed her, saying "hang on, Rach, just a moment."

She turned around and waited for him to speak.

Finn smiled at her. "I've noticed you've been smiling a lot lately. What's happened that's made you so happy?"

Rachel looked surprise. "Oh. Well, you know. I've been trying to be happy, really…"

"So you're just pretending?" Finn frowned.

Rachel sighed. "A little… but actually, there is one thing that's happened that has seemed to make things better, though, perhaps… also more complicated."

"What?" Finn asked, taking a step closer to her. He was quite close to her now and if he just went forwards a little more he could reach out and –

Rachel stepped back, quickly, before replying "I met someone really important."

Finn frowned, feeling disappointed she had moved out of the way and a little hurt at what she had said. "What? Like a new boyfriend or something? Don't you think that's a little – "

"No, not boyfriends, I already have one! What do you think I am, some sort of slut?"

Finn mumbled, "Well, you did act like one in that video – "

"Are you still hung up on that?" Rachel asked, sounding hurt and angry. She sighed. "Look, it's nothing like that. I met my mother, that's all."

Finn blinked. "Your mother? But I thought – your dads said – "

Rachel sighed and said sadly. "Yes, well, it seems there are too many liars in this world. You just can't trust anyone anymore."

And with that, before Finn could even open his mouth to speak, she spun around and run towards the entrance, leaving Finn standing there like she had so many times before.


	15. A Helping Hand: Part One

**Chapter 13: A Helping Hand**

**Part One**

_Rachel leapt onto him, pushing him up against the wall and wrapping her legs around his waist as she slammed her mouth onto his in a passionate kiss. He grabbed her, one hand supporting her bottom and the other tangled in her hair at the back of her head. She was pushing herself against him so hard he could barely breathe, but he didn't care. He finally had all that he ever dreamed for (and couldn't be more turned on about it either)._

_They kept on kissing each other, biting each other's lips and entwining tongues like it was a wrestling match. Then Rachel broke away and latched her mouth to Finn's neck. He moaned and she sucked harder and he moved his hand down from out of her hair to touch – _

Finn sat bolt upright in bed. Looking down, he saw what he saw every night these days and got up to clean himself off. All he could see was Rachel's beautiful face and all he could feel was the feel of her lips and body against him. It was as if she really had been here, but, of course, she hadn't.

While other things in his life seemed to be reaching a higher peak, Finn's problems with Rachel were still not going anywhere. Sure, sometimes they mumbled "hello's" and "how are you's" in the hallways, and they interacted in Glee Club if it was a must, but otherwise they might as well be strangers for the notice that Rachel took of him. She was so tightly wrapped around Jessie, her mother and her talent that Finn was finding it more difficult to speak to her than ever before. And it was just getting more and more heartbreaking for him as time wore on, so that didn't help.

Other things were going alright, though. Family stuff with Kurt was getting better. The pair of them had tried very hard to get used to living with each other ever since Finn sang "Beth" and stood up for Kurt and Tina against Karowsky, the idiot. So, that was a plus.

He was also spending more time with Puck, and they were actually starting to get a little friendlier towards each other. They had both scored jobs at Sheets 'n' Things, so being friendly workmates was kind of a necessity. Finn was relieved mostly; he'd been sick of being angry at Puck and had really started to realise that things were better off for him that Puck was the father of Quinn's baby, anyway. Because, what did it matter? He didn't love Quinn, and doubted that he ever really did, at least nowhere near as much as he loved Rachel.

And, best of all, Santana seemed to have been telling everyone that she broke up with him (there was some big story going around about how strong and independent Santana had acted when she had split with him, so everyone was giving her kudos for it, especially Ms. Sylvester.)

So the only thing standing in the way of his happiness was (besides from the pressures of whether they would win Regional's or not) Rachel. If he didn't come up with a way to get back into her good books then Finn truly thought he was going to die.

With this in mind, he slumped back into his freshly sheeted bed and tried to sleep. It wasn't easy. Nothing was ever easy, anymore.

_Jessie had his hands tightly holding her face as he kissed her. His hands felt rough against her skin, and almost as he was pinching her and she started to squirm trying to get away. Jessie's hands loosened and Rachel drew her head back to look at him and gasped._

_It wasn't Jessie anymore, it was Finn. Finn looked at her gently and asked "what's wrong baby?" Why was it that she always saw Finn's face when she was kissing someone else?_

_Finn stroked her cheek lightly. His hands were soft and warm against her skin and she shivered._

"_Are you cold?" he asked her, concerned, drawing her closer and curling her up into his arms._

"_N- no," Rachel whispered back. "Not not, anyway."_

_Finn smiled and rubbed her back. "I'm glad," he whispered. He reached up and cupped her face in his hands. She stared up at him in awe. He was so beautiful, looking down at her with his big brown eyes and lopsided grin. He leant his head down towards her and their lips met._

_He kissed her so much differently than Jessie did. It was more loving and much less forceful. She reached her hand to the back of his head to deepen the kiss and they seemed to melt together. As they kept on kissing, Finn gently turned around and lay her down onto the bed. He leaned above her carefully, kissing her and she laughed quietly against his mouth. _

_Beep, Beep, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!_

Rachel shot up out of bed, feeling flushed and floozy. She could still feel Finn's lips against hers and the slight feeling of his body leaning on hers and her body tingled with the feeling of it.

She shook her head. She'd been having these dreams so often lately. Not that she'd never had dreams of her and Finn before, because she definitely had, but lately whenever she was dreaming about Jessie, Finn always seemed to step in. It frightened her how different Jessie and Finn were with her in the dreams. Jessie was always painted darkly, whereas Finn was always dreamy. But to Rachel, it was the other way around because Jessie had never broken her heart like Finn had. She didn't like having the dreams because they always made her think that maybe she was wrong; that she shouldn't be with Jessie at all and that her true love was Finn.

But how was that even possible? She shook her head. They were just silly dreams and didn't actually mean anything, did they? No. Her subconscious was just trying to trick her into being heartbroken again. At sometimes it seemed to work. Sometimes when she got to school in the mornings and saw Jessie, she felt disappointed, like she was hoping it was Finn waiting for her instead.

She kept trying to keep hold of herself, but no matter what she tried, it just kept feeling like she was always going to be running for Finn in the end.

Finn got to school earlier than usual, mainly because he was sick of waiting around at home for the clock to move. He went to his locker and decided to go and sit outside his first class until it was time to go inside. After 10 minutes of that his ass was cold and sore.

_Well, you should know better, Finn. I mean, who, of your height, actually dares sit on the ground?_

Piss off.

He stood up and went over to the men's toilets. Some more students were filling into the school now. As he went into the men's toilets, he saw Rachel walking in through the main entrance and his heart stuttered like it always did when he saw her.

Before she noticed him, he quickly walked inside the toilets. Someone else was in there and they were on the phone, speaking seriously. Finn guessed it was a teacher and because he didn't want to get into trouble by making noise, he shut the door quietly and walked towards a cubicle (he always preferred to pee in the actual toilets, for some reason) and just as quietly shut the door.

It was as he was unzipping his fly that he recognised the voice.

It was Jessie. Finn rolled his eyes. Well, trust him to sound like a blooming teacher. He smirked to himself and tried to catch what Jessie was saying and who he was talking to.

"Yeah, of course, Mrs. C, everything is handled. You already know that, you've already met you haven't you? She is stoked." He said.

There was a pause and then Jessie spoke again.

"Look, Mrs. C, are you sure there isn't any part of the plan that you're not telling me? Because Rachel isn't speaking to her dads anymore and I don't think she ever expected them to lie to her and they sure seem to believe that they aren't, so – "

There was another pause and Finn heard Jessie sigh. He carefully did up his zip and waited in the cubicle for Jessie to leave.

"Okay, yes, of course I trust you. And you don't need to worry about anything, Rachel will be on our team any day now, trust me. She will choose us over these losers. I mean, who wouldn't?"

Finn sucked in a breath and clenched his fists in anger.

So Jessie was in on some sort of plan to get Rachel onto Vocal Adrenaline? Finn felt like he was going to vomit in anger and he stood there rooted on the spot until he heard Jessie say good-bye to whoever he'd been talking to and heard him leaving the room.

Finn took big breaths, feeling angrier and angrier as the moments went by. He wanted nothing more than to just go after Jessie and beat him up. And he knew he shouldn't but he wasn't sure, at this point in time, if he could last the whole day without telling Jessie a thing or two.

He did know that he had to warn, Rachel, though, sooner rather than later.

Finn really was an idiot, Rachel thought. All this time she had always stood up for him whenever people called him one, but now he had just proved that they were all right.

At recess, Finn had run up to Rachel at her locker and burst out: "Rachel, hi, can I talk to you for a second?" he'd panted, like he'd just been running a marathon. And before she could even reply, he quickly said: "Look, I don't think you should date Jessie anymore, Rachel. He's playing you. He wants you to ditch us and join Vocal Adrenaline so there'd be no way we could beat them!"

Rachel had stared dumbly at Finn for a second and then rolled her eyes. "Is that really all you can come up with?"

Finn blinked. "What? I didn't come up with it! I just heard him on the phone… talking to Mrs. P or something…" he scratched his head, his voice trailing off.

"Whatever, Finn. I trust Jessie and I happen to know that he loves me so whatever you're going to say won't change that. See you later," she'd said, turning away from him and walking off towards Jessie's locker.

Yep, she thought now, Finn was definitely the dumbest boy she knew. Cute, but incredibly stupid. She sighed, wishing that that would actually make her hate him. But it didn't, not at all.


	16. A Helping Hand: Part Two

**Chapter 13: A Helping Hand**

**Part Two**

Finn had work at Sheets 'n' Things after school. His mind wasn't really in it after his talk with Rachel, but he needed the money so he went anyway.

It would have better for him if he didn't though. He was moody and hurt, which meant he wasn't doing his job as well as usual. He stared blankly at customers when they asked him questions and had to ask them to repeat what they were asking a few times before he had any idea what they were saying; he forgot how to use the cash register (he even forgot that the amount of change was shown digitally and spent 5 minutes trying to work out somebody's change before they told him so) and ended up breaking down after not managing to fold up a damn sheet.

At that point, Terri walked over to him, looking concerned. Finn didn't mind Mr. Schue's ex-wife. Like, he totally knew that Terri was just as bad and desperate as Quinn when it came to lying and relationships, but Terri was nice to him and didn't seem to think he was stupid like everyone else did.

"You're not really in on your game, today, are you Finn?" Terri asked him, grabbing his arm and pulling him away to sit down on the chairs at the back of the shop. "Is everything alright?"

Finn looked at her and shook his head. "No, not really, Mrs. Sh –"

Terri waved a hand and said, "Call me Terri. So what's wrong? Thinking about girls too much again?"

Finn nodded. "Right… well… no, not girls this time… just one girl."

Terri nodded. "Is it the girl you said you were thinking about when you were dating Quinn Fabray?"

Finn nodded and leant forwards to put his head into his hands.

Terri patted his back. "Do you want to talk about it? I can help you. "

Finn sighed, but didn't look up as he opened his mouth to speak. "Thanks, but I don't see what you can do. It's useless. I keep trying to make it up to her, but she – she hates me!"

Terri frowned. "Do you know for sure? Because often when girls are angry at boys that have hurt them, it means they don't hate them at all. They're just faking it so they don't get hurt again."

Finn looked up and shook his head. "Rachel is a good actress, but I'm pretty sure she does hate me. And anyway, she's with this Jessie kid… and today, I tried to tell her that Jessie is bad news, but she wouldn't believe me, because I'm such an idiot."

Terri looked at him intently. "You're not an idiot, Finn. You're just in love and sometimes when boys are emotional, they get desperate and make up stories – "

"No, that's not it at all!" Finn interrupted. "I heard Jessie on the phone, talking to some – some woman and he's jeopardising Glee Club and I just know that he doesn't feel for Rachel the way that I do."

Terri smiled. "Well, I don't doubt that for a second. You know what you should do?"

Finn shook his head and sighed. "No, what?"

Terri smiled wider. "You need to show Rachel who this Jessie really is. You need to bring the truth out into the open so Rachel can realise that you weren't making it up."

Finn frowned. "And how the hell do I do that?"

Terri shrugged. "I'm sure you'll think of something. Oh, and you should also come up with some kind of romantic speech or do something drastic to show Rachel how much you care about her. Anyway, we have to get back to work. I'm not going to keep my role as manager if I slack off for 10 minutes to give boys advice will I? I'm not some miracle worker, after all." She smiled at Finn and walked away.

Finn stared after her, frowning. He had this vague idea playing in his mind of how to reveal Jessie to everyone. He wasn't sure if it would work, but he sure was going to try. With that in mind he went off to find Puck.

Puck was outraged about what Finn had heard and after Finn told him, he promised he'd help "bring that Jessie kid down to the ground!"

They were to start the plan the next day at lunch time. Finn knew that Jessie often left the school at the start of lunch (he had once overheard Jessie explaining to Rachel that he got super sick of the cafeteria food sometimes), but Finn wasn't so sure if it was to just buy a substantial meal. He had thought, and Puck agreed, that whatever Jessie did during lunch time was much more scandalous.

So, Finn and Puck wagged their classes and hid outside the main entrance behind one of the bushes again. (_Man, I can't believe I am doing this again!_).

They sat there the whole lesson, getting leg cramps, but it didn't matter because their plan was going to be way worth it. Finn was grateful that his friendship with Puck was repairing itself now. It felt good to be doing something that was like one of those sneaky kid games they'd played together when they were younger.

Finally, the bell rang and in no time at all they saw Jessie's legs walking down the stairs. He was whistling some showtune and Finn grinded his teeth.

Finn and Puck got out of the bushes and started walking towards Finn's car. He had parked his car as close as possible to the entrance of the school so it would be easy to follow Jessie at a safe distance. They also knew Jessie had parked his car at the other end of the car park, which made things much easier for them .

They got into Finn's car and watched intently as Jessie's left the car park. Slowly Finn revved his car and drove across the car park towards the exit. They stopped on the exit road and Puck leaned out of his window cautiously to watch Jessie turn left out of the street.

They continued this way for about 15 minutes, following the same pattern and always keeping distance. A few times they almost lost Jessie when he turned down a road, but due to Puck's good observations, they still managed to keep hold of Jessie.

Finally, Jessie went down one last street and, as Finn and Puck followed him, they saw a sign on one side of the road, which said "Welcome to Carmel High."

Finn and Puck looked at each other and they high fived each other, grinning in triumph.

They entered the schools car park carefully and as they did so they saw Jessie getting out of his car in the distance. They got out of Finn's car and began quietly following Jessie into the school.

Jessie walked straight towards the auditorium. Finn and Puck watched him enter the room (the sounds of music and singing blasted out the door before Jessie closed it behind him) before they quickly went over and stood outside the doors, their ears pressed against the doors.

All they could hear was the distant rumbling of singing and music, but they didn't need to see more. Finn had been right. Jessie was in on some plan, and by the looks of things, he was still in Vocal Adrenaline behind all of their backs.

Finn ground his teeth together and suddenly felt angrier than ever. He looked at Puck, who seemed to be wearing virtually the same expression, and raised his eyebrows.

"Think we should run in there and give him one?" Finn asked.

"I really want to, but…I don't think we'd get the chance. Let's just wait here and spring an attack on him when he comes out!" Puck said.

Finn nodded and grinned. He was feeling a little badass and he liked it!

So, the two boys took position either side of the doors and waited. They didn't have to wait long before the door opened and Jessie walked out, obviously on his way back to McKinley High after his "lunch."

Finn felt his heart pounding in anger as he saw him and he and Puck sprang onto him from behind and pushed him into the floor. Jessie yelled out in surprise and tossed his head around to look at his captures as they pinned him to the floor with their hands and knees.

Jessie looked at them and said, surprised, "Finn? Puck? What are you doing here?"

Finn smirked. "We followed you. I heard you in the phone talking to some person in the toilets yesterday and we decided to follow you to see what the hell you are up to."

Jessie shook his head and squirmed underneath them, trying to throw Puck's arm off, which was pushed against Jessie's neck. "Look, Finn, Puck… this isn't what it looks like… just let me explain – "

Puck laughed. "Explain what, Jessie St. James? That you're a lying bastard? You don't need to explain that because we already know." He punched Jessie's arm hard. Jessie groaned.

"Come on guys, you don't know what you're talking about. You're just making assumptions about me right now. If you just knew the full story – "

"Full story?" Finn interrupted, shaking his head. "The only full story we need to know is that you are a traitor and you don't deserve having someone as awesome as Rachel as your boyfriend."

Jessie stopped moving against him and looked up at Finn, rolling his eyes. "Seriously? Are you still fighting for Rachel, Finn? Because there's no competition. She really hates your guts, you know," he said matter- of- factly. "I mean, who wouldn't?"

Finn ground his teeth and yelled, "SHUT UP!" before pulling his hand back and punching Jessie in the face. Jessie yelled out "oww!" loudly and screwed up his face in pain. Finn withdrew his hand and shook it, muttering "oww" to himself at the same time.

And at that moment, the auditorium doors opened and out rushed Shelby C. She, and a couple of Vocal Adrenaline, walked right up to them and grabbed Finn and Puck by the shirts and hauled them to their feet. Jessie, relieved, stood up and crossed his arms, smirking at Finn and Puck.

Shelby looked at them coldly. Finn cowered a little, but Puck stared right back at her with the same coldness.

She opened her mouth to speak angrily. "I don't know what you two New Directions are doing here, attacking our star lead, but you are so not going to get away with it."

And with that she, with the help of a couple of members lead them out of the school towards the car park, Jessie following them looking nervous and determined.


	17. A Helping Hand: Part Three

**Chapter 13: A Helping Hand**

**Part 3**

Rachel stood at her locker, staring at the school entrance in shock. It was the end of lunch and she was just collecting her books from her locker, when suddenly she heard this big commotion and looked up curiously.

She blinked hard when she saw them, hardly daring to believe her eyes. What was going on? It didn't make any sense. Why was her _mother_ holding Puck _and _Finn by the arms? And why was Jessie with them? And why on earth was he looking so triumphant? And how come they all looked a little bashed up? Who had beaten them up!

She stood stock still, staring at them as they walked towards her. Puck looked at her and saluted her with his hand, Finn looked at her with a sort of grimace of shame on his face and Jessie winked at her as they passed. But her _mother _barely seemed to notice she was there because she was too busy concentrating on pulling Finn and Puck along.

This all happened very quickly. Before Rachel knew it, they had walked passed her and were turning down the corridor and out of sight, leaving her there just wondering.

What had Finn and Puck done? It must have been pretty bad if it had caused her mother to come to the school. And why was Jessie here too? Jessie wasn't in Vocal Adrenaline anymore, was he? Surely he'd be in the wrong alongside Finn and Puck; they must all have done something to make her mother upset, but perhaps Jessie hadn't been caught or… then why would he be looking so happy if he was in trouble?

Rachel stood there thinking through everything she just saw for so long that she completely forgot that it was time to go to class. She couldn't get her head around what she had just seen. It felt like a dream. One of those weird dreams that she'd been having lately, where Jessie was someone she didn't really recognise. He was violent, sarcastic, overly selfish and cynical, always with that same smirk of triumph on his face that she had just seen. The dreams made her feel sick, but now she felt even worse because this wasn't a dream. She had just seen a little of the dream Jessie in the real Jessie in real life. Rachel had no idea what this could mean, but she was going to find out. Even if it ended up hurting her, she just had to know what was going on between her mother, Puck, Jessie and… and Finn.

So, with a little sigh, she closed her locker door and walked off in the direction they'd disappeared, towards the principles office.

Meanwhile, Finn and Puck were sitting stonily in front of Principle Figgins' desk, with Shelby standing behind them with her hands on her hips and Jessie standing off to the side, leaning on the wall superiorly. Mr. Schue was also there standing behind Finn and listening to Shelby rant on about Finn and Puck's unprecedented and unacceptable attack on Vocal Adrenaline.

"…I really can't stand for it, Principle Figgins and Will Schuster. These two boys cannot get away with spying on and attacking my pupils!' she finished, glaring down at Puck and Finn.

Principle Figgins looked at her and moved his gaze to look at Puck sternly. "So, was this your idea Noah Puckerman? I can't say I'd be surprise and I doubt Finn would have come up with such a plan all by himself."

Puck opened his mouth to speak, but Finn got there first. "No, don't lay the blame on Puck, Principle Figgins," he said. "This is my fault."

Principle Figgins stared at him. "I'm surprised, and I don't want to do this, but I really think you need to be suspended. For a week. Both of you."

Puck glared at him and Finn groaned. Shelby smiled.

Mr. Schue held up his hand. "Now, hang on a second. You can't just suspend them; we have Regionals in a week! You don't even have the full story and I know that I have lots of questions about this."

Principle Figgins sighed. "Fine, Mr. Schue. Ask away."

Mr. Schue smiled at him, but Shelby snorted and said "that's not going to help anything, these two boys are in the wrong and there's nothing – "

But Mr. Schue interrupted her. "Shelby, I just wonder why you are saying that Finn and Puck attacked your pupils. Because as far as I can see, you've only bought Jessie along and the last time I checked, he was one of my students."

Shelby smirked and opened her mouth to speak, but Jessie stepped forwards before she could.

"Mr. Schue, I still am one of your students. I'm not here for Ms. C and I can tell you exactly what happened."

Puck and Finn turned in their chairs and looked at him angrily as Mr. Schue nodded and said, "Then go ahead, Jessie."

At this point Rachel stopped outside the door and listened hard to what they were saying.

Jessie smiled and began to talk. "See, Finn, Puck and I were talking today and we decided we should go and see what Vocal Adrenaline are doing to, you know, pick up some pointers and to see our competition."

Finn and Puck glared harder at Jessie, but let him continue to speak. Did he really think he was going to get away with this?

Jessie continued. "So, we drove over to Carmel at the start of lunch and went to the auditorium to check them out." He glanced at Shelby. "Sorry, Ms. C but I had to prove to them that I was undoubtedly in New Directions, I hope you can understand." Shelby just looked at him before he looked away and went on talking. "So, we were there for awhile, watching and listening, until one of the members spotted us. He shouted and they all saw us then, and they were all angry.

"So, they came up to where we were and we had a pretty delicious shouting gang bang, until things got a little out of hand. One of the members, James, I think, shouted out something really hurtful about Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray and Puck and Finn just snapped. I tried to stop them, but just ended up getting hit instead." He pointed to his fast approaching black eye.

Finn stood up angrily. "Mr. Schue, Principle Figgins, I'm sorry, but he is lying! Not about the hitting part, because I remember hitting him but it – "

Principle Figgins raised a hand. "Jessie's story makes sense to me, and seeing as he says you two were provoked to beat them up, I'm awarding you' (he looked at Finn) 'and Puck a weeks detention and Jessie' (he looked at Jessie) 'you'll get two days detention for taking part in the spying of Vocal Adrenaline."

Puck slammed his fist on the table and Finn shouted "but that's not fair, Principle Figgins! Jessie is the one in the wrong, why are you siding with him?"

When he didn't answer, Finn looked around at Mr. Schue and said "Mr. Schue? Are you falling for Jessie's tricks, too?"

Mr. Schue looked at Finn, frowning. "I don't know, Finn. It seems to make sense."

Finn breathed deeply and then asked sadly, "but it doesn't make sense at all! Why haven't you even bothered to ask Puck and I our version of the story? Oh, I know," he added a little angrily, "it's because everyone thinks I'm too dumb to know anything!" And with that, Finn looked at Puck and said, "come on, Puck, we're going."

Puck nodded, and glared at the other three in office before following Finn out the door, leaving Mr. Schue staring sadly after them.

Rachel didn't have time to hide herself before Puck and Finn rushed out of the door. Finn almost knocked her over on his way out. He muttered 'sorry' as he walked away and he looked back and stopped dead at the sight of Rachel standing there.

"Rachel," he said, walking towards her as Puck stopped as well and stood back. He looked at her a little apprehensively as he drew closer to her. "What are you doing here?"

Rachel stared at him and opened her mouth to speak. "I – I was – I saw you come in with my – my mother and Jessie and I wanted to know what was – "

But Finn cut her off, looking shocked. "Your mother! What? Ms. C is your mother? Why didn't you tell me?

Rachel shrugged. "Sorry, I didn't know you cared."

Finn sighed loudly. "And where on earth did you get that impression, Rachel?"

Rachel looked away from him. "So, what happened? Did you guys really all go and spy on Vocal Adrenaline and then beat them up because they insulted me and Quinn?"

Finn shook his head and sighed again. "So, you heard Jessie's story did you? And of course you would believe it."

Rachel just looked at him. "Well, what did happen then?" she asked finally.

Finn frowned at her and gently put a hand onto her arm. "I'll explain everything, but here isn't the place. Maybe we could meet up after school to talk about this in private?"

Rachel shook her head. 'No, I can't wait that long."

Finn nodded and looked over at Puck. "Are you going to come? We're going to go and talk about this some place."

Puck shook his head, "Nah, that's ok, man. You two go ahead, I'll just go and tell everyone else – "

Finn nodded and looked at Rachel gently. "Come on then, and I'll explain everything to you,"

And Finn lead Rachel away to the empty auditorium, feeling like he was about to ruin Rachel's life.


	18. A Helping Hand: Part Four

**Chapter 13: A Helping Hand**

**Part 4**

Rachel sat beside Finn on the stage, frozen once again in shock. But this shock was worse than any other shock she'd ever felt in her life. She felt like she'd been punched in the stomach and like her heart had been cut open.

She didn't want to believe everything Finn had just told her. Jessie betraying the team…Jessie lying to her this whole time… her, just being his ulterior motive… her mother, being in the plan all along to sabotage New Directions… they didn't love her… but it couldn't be true! Could it? Her mind was whirling with thoughts that resembled Jessie and Finn. They were beating each other up as they flew around her mind. She tried to tell them to stop and she tried to listen to what they were saying but they were talking over each other so much that she couldn't take it in.

And as she sat there staring straight ahead she kept asking herself: was it Jessie or Finn who was telling the truth? Who should she trust? Finn had lied to her before, but he sounded like he was telling the truth right now and Rachel didn't think Finn was _that _good of an actor. On the other hand, Jessie had never lied to her, as far as she knew anyway and he treated her well… but then she remembered the dreams and shuddered. Were they trying to tell her who she should trust? Or was she just stupid even thinking it? Maybe things weren't as black and white as she thought… maybe…maybe…

Finn put a hand on her shoulder and interrupted her thoughts. "Rachel? Are you ok?"

She slowly looked up at him, surprised that he was still sitting there and that there was such deep concern in his eyes. They sat there gazing at each other for a few minutes, but what seemed like hours, until Rachel slowly shook her head and opened her mouth to speak. "Finn. I want you to show me," she whispered.

Finn frowned. "Show you what?"

Rachel gazed back at him and said. "I want you to show me that I can trust you."

Finn stared at her. "But, Rachel, how do I do that? You've already made it clear that you don't trust me… and I've tried so hard to make you see that you can already… but you never give me the chance."

Rachel nodded. "I know, I haven't handled it very well… but I'm giving you another chance now, Finn. And if you can't prove to me that you're right and that I can trust you… I won't know how I can ever trust anyone again…because you are really important to me… so, please, please… try harder, for me." She looked away and tears started dripping down her face.

Finn gazed at her and reached over to put a hand on her chin. He gently moved her face so she was facing him again and wiped away one of her tears with his finger. Then he whispered, 'Rachel, you're really important to me, too… you're the most important person… and I'm going to do all I can to make you trust me again."

Rachel smiled, her mouth wobbling again as she began to sob harder. She slumped forwards onto Finn and he wrapped his arms around her shaking body. She felt tremors of delight in her stomach as he rubbed her back and stroked her hair. And then, as if it was from a dream, she felt him kiss her on her forehead and her heart seemed to stop. She didn't move and felt Finn's hands shaking as they rubbed soothing circles on her back.

Suddenly, Rachel felt overwhelmed with emotion. She was confused. She shouldn't be feeling these feelings for Finn anymore, especially when she didn't know for sure that he was the one telling the truth and her boyfriend, Jessie, was actually not at fault here. She didn't want to be here, she couldn't, and she needed to be alone to think things through. She secretly wished with all her heart that Finn was her true love, but what if he was lying again? She couldn't stand this if it meant she'd just be running back into Jessie's safe, yet not as satisfying, arms.

Quickly she wrenched herself out of Finn's arms and ran off the stage, away from who she really wanted and away from what she couldn't yet face in herself. She heard Finn calling her name and heard him get up and start to follow her, so she ran harder and didn't look back.

Finn groaned loudly as he watched Rachel run away from him once more. It was so stupid of him to kiss her, thinking she would want that now. Of course, she wouldn't! Not after just hearing that her mother and her boyfriend were in on some plan to sabotage New Directions just before Regional's. She was confused, he knew that (he wasn't that dumb, remember?) and he had not been helping her. After all, it wasn't like she actually liked him the same he did anymore. Not after everything he'd done, or in mostly, after the thing that it looked like he'd done but hadn't (courtesy of Santana, of course).

Finn thought back to what Rachel had said. _"I want you to show me that I can trust you."_ Finn could think of only way that he could do that. And it wouldn't be pretty either. He would have to bring her to the place that it had all happened. He would probably have to wait a few days because Jessie was probably smart enough to stick around here after almost getting caught, at least until they could give away the game right before Regional's.

_No that wouldn't work because then their plan would work, wouldn't it?_

Oh, are you trying to be smart again?

_I don't need to try. I am smart! Or at least, we both are. Because I'm you, you know. Sometimes smart and sometimes dumb. You know how it is._

Yeah, right… so what do you suggest then?

_You shouldn't wait for a few days to show Rachel the truth. It needs to be as soon as possible, to give her some time to adjust to it. Don't you remember Sectionals?_

Yeah, it was really difficult for me to go and perform with them after… Man, that really pissed me off… but it's good to be friends with Puck again and maybe I'll get to meet the baby and –

_Umm, hello? Rachel? We need to talk about here right now._

Right. Yeah. So, what should I do then?

_Alright, here's the plan…_

Jessie called Rachel that night asking to come over and hang out, but Rachel didn't feel like she could face him. Not when she knew there was a possibility that he was a traitor boyfriend. He sounded gracious and understanding when she told him that she wasn't feeling very well, but Rachel thought she heard a tiny bit of suspicion and annoyance in his voice.

She couldn't help herself returning to the feelings she'd felt when she was Finn in the auditorium though. It had felt so nice to be with him again and she just couldn't get that true feeling of love out of her mind. She found herself thinking that even if Jessie wasn't the traitor, she would eventually have to choose to be with Finn anyway. It was hard enough staying away from him now; she didn't know how long she could keep it up.

She knew she should just ignore it though, because she needed to know the truth. She couldn't let herself make up her own mind this time; it was down to fate. And that scared the living daylights out of her.

Just then her phone rang again and she picked it up gingerly, looking at the screen. It was Finn.

Her heart jumped into her throat and she dropped the phone. Finn was calling her, Finn! Should she answer the phone? What if it was something important? But no, she couldn't talk to him _now,_ not after what had just happened. So, what, she was just going to ignore him? She'd asked him to show him she could trust him, maybe this was him trying. She could hardly tell him not to bother anymore, and besides, she did really want to talk to him, more than anything.

Quickly she grabbed the phone (almost dropping it again in the process) and pressed the answer button. Putting it to her ear she nervously said, 'hello, Finn."

"Rachel!" Finn sounded relieved. "I didn't think you'd answer."

"Well, I did. What's up?" Rachel asked, trying to sound chirpy and confidant.

Finn sighed and his voice dropped a little. "I wanted to say sorry for today, Rachel… I shouldn't have done that… and I realise that you're going through a lot right now… but I'm going to do all I can to make everything better again."

Rachel smiled and answered, "that's really sweet, Finn. And I forgive you, of course. For now."

Finn laughed a little at that. "Hope that lasts," he said.

"Me, too," Rachel agreed, laughing a little.

Finn sighed again. "So, Rachel, I wanted to ask if I could take you somewhere after school tomorrow."

"Where are you going to take me?"

"Uh… you'll see… it might be hard for you, but you need to see it for yourself… and I think it will help you be able to trust me again. And I really want you to."

Rachel swallowed. "You're going to take me to Carmel, aren't you?"

"Yes," Finn whispered. "Will you come with me?"

Rachel didn't answer for awhile. "You… you're really telling the truth, aren't you?" she asked in a shaky voice.

There was silence and then Finn laughed a little. "Oh, sorry, I was nodding. I forgot, you can't see me… so… I don't want you take my word for it, though, I think we should go… and do some spying. And then you can make your mind up for yourself."

Rachel didn't answer.

"Rach?" Finn asked, quietly. "Will you come with me?"

Rachel swallowed nervously again. "I don't know… I mean… No… I… y – yes, I will. I'll come with you, Finn."

"Thanks, Rachel. You won't regret it… well, you might, but not because of me, I promise and it will… it will be ok… in the end – "

"Of course," Rachel interrupted her voice straining. "I have to go to um… dinner… see you tomorrow, Finn." And before he could reply she hangs up the phone and flopped backwards onto her bed. Tomorrow was going to be a big day and she wasn't ready for it.

The next day after school Finn waited at Rachel's locker. He hadn't really spoken to her all day. She'd been with Jessie throughout the day and Finn had noticed that Rachel was keeping a close eye on Jessie so much that she hadn't seemed to even notice Finn. Finn tried to see this as a good sign because it showed that Rachel was suspicious of Jessie (as she should be), but he couldn't help feeling upset that she wasn't just completely taking his word for it. But that didn't matter. By tonight, she'd believe him.

Due to his "detective work" he'd done last night, he knew that Vocal Adrenaline practiced from 4 – 6 after school. He also knew that they were now locking the auditorium doors, but Finn thought he could work around that. After all, there were more things other than singing that he was good at.

Rachel walked up to him after he'd been there about 5 minutes, looking terribly nervous and tired.

"Hey, Finn," she said, opening her locker and fumbling with her books to put them into her locker.

"Hey. Didn't you sleep last night, Rachel?" Finn asked gently, leaning against the lockers.

"No, I couldn't sleep… I was too nervous and my brain wouldn't shut up." Rachel mumbled and Finn smiled sympathetically.

"I know this is going to be hard, Rachel, but I'm here for you."

Rachel smiled at him and shut her locker door, swinging her bag over her shoulder. "Well, I'll see you later, Finn, okay? You – "

Finn frowned. "Wait, what? I thought we were going now – "

"I don't want Jessie to see us leaving together," Rachel hissed. "Pick me up from my house in 20 minutes, alright?"

Finn smiled. "Why didn't I think of that?"

She nodded and turned around to walk off. As she walked off, Jessie came up to her and they walked towards the exit together, Jessie swinging an arm around Rachel's shoulder. Finn thought he saw Rachel shudder slightly at the contact and he smiled to himself before turning and walking towards the other exit out of the school.

After getting rid of Jessie (which was surprisingly easy because he told her he had some family stuff to do so he couldn't hang out with her after school – Rachel's nerves reached breaking havoc at this point - ) Rachel waited outside her house for Finn to pick her up.

He arrived right on time, hurrying out of his car to open the passenger door for her like he did that time he took her to the doctors weeks ago. Except this time he didn't joke around. He just looked at her solemnly as she got in and she smiled just as solemnly back.

They drove in silence. Rachel kept fidgeting nervously with her hair and clothes and Finn would glance over her every few minutes, making sure she was alright or at least, not on the verge of a major breakdown. Considering the conversation, Finn thought she was pretty controlled.

They reached Carmel and the carpark was still pretty full. Finn drove up towards the school as near as he could so they could get into the car easily if they needed a proper getaway.

He got out of the car and went to open Rachel's door, but she was already outside of the car, standing there and staring at something. He walked over to her and put a hand on her arm.

"What are you staring at?" he asked her gently.

Rachel pointed in the direction she was looking. "Jessie. That's Jessie's car," she whispered.

Finn patted her arm and reached down to grab her hand. "Come on, baby, let's go."

He froze and let go of her hand. Rachel turned to look at him slowly. Shit, did he really just call Rachel baby? That shouldn't have happened.

He looked at Rachel nervously. She was watching him, her eyebrows raised. He cleared his throat. "Sorry… I didn't mean to call you that… it just… it just slipped out."

Rachel shook her head. "Its fine," she said, reaching for his hand and pulling him closer to her.

He looked at her in shock. "Rachel, what are you doing?"

She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head into his chest.

"I don't know… just saying thank you, I guess," she mumbled, before looking back at him. "I believe you, Finn, and I think, in time, I'll be able to fully trust you again."

Finn smiled. "Really? That's awesome," he said, happily before frowning at her. "So, you don't want to go and spy on Vocal Adrenaline anymore?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, I do… but not to see whether I can trust you again. I want to go and spy on Vocal Adrenaline so I can see what they are doing and also so I can tell Jessie and my mother exactly what I think of them."

Finn smiled as Rachel pulled on his hand, turned back towards the school and lead him towards the biggest confrontation yet.

**~Yeah, so the last few chapters were like my idea of what Funk should have been like. Just to be clear =p~**


	19. The End Will Soon Be The Beginning

**Chapter 14: The End Will Soon Be The Beginning**

Finn followed Rachel towards the Carmel auditorium, feeling both nervous and excited. It felt great to know that Rachel trusted him again, but he was nervous to exactly what that meant. He wanted to believe that it meant he and Rachel were together again, but he wasn't sure that was the case. Not yet anyway… because, technically, she was still with Jessie.

But not for long… and that thought made Finn feel excited again, because it meant that Rachel would finally be free to be his! Free for him to kiss her and hold her and walk hand in hand with her down the school hallways… But then, he'd feel that overwhelming feeling of nerves again… what if Rachel didn't break up with Jessie? What if she forgave him? What if she didn't want to be with Finn, even after what Jessie had done to her and New Directions?

But then Rachel turned around and smiled at him as she continued walking around and he had to hope with all his heart that what Rachel was about to say to Jessie and her mother was something bad, because that was all that he could do. Hope that this would end up being good for him and make him happy for the first time in weeks.

Rachel was nervous and angry. Very nervous and angry, as she pulled Finn along towards the Carmel auditorium. But Finn's hand in hers gave her jolts of strength and a much lighter, happier feeling. She felt secure with her hand in his; the way he would occasionally squeeze her hand and the way he was gripping it so tightly made her sure that everything was worth it in the end. Finn was definitely worth it. She knew that now.

But she couldn't fight back the little thought in the back of her head. It was asking herself that perhaps she was flinging herself into going back into their relationship a little early. Wouldn't it be more worthwhile if they waited just a little longer, when Jessie was completely out of her system? She knew now that it had been hard for Finn to go straight into a relationship with her after the whole Quinn/baby thing… but…

Oh, I'll think about this later, Rachel thought as they came to a stop outside the auditorium doors. Time for a showdown.

She turned to Finn and smiled at him nervously.

"Do you want to stay here or come in with me?"

Finn shrugged nervously, his smile wobbling a little. "Um… I don't know… what are you going to be doing in there?"

Rachel raised her eyebrows. "Well… I'm telling Jessie exactly what I think of his conniving ways and breaking up with him and I'm letting my mother know that I'm disappointed that our relationship just can't work out after this."

Finn nodded. "Uh… so, do you want me to be with you… when, uh, you break… break up with them and stuff?"

Rachel smiled a little. "Yes, I think I might need a little bit of support, if you don't mind doing that for me, Finn."

Finn smiled, "of course. I'd do anything for you, Rachel," his face turned pink.

She blushed and whispered "thanks" before turning away from him and reaching her hands out to push the auditorium doors open.

"Oh… those might be locked, last time I came here – "but Finn trailed off as the doors swung open and they were welcomed to the sound of Shelby shouting something at Vocal Adrenaline. She sounded angry and it was clear that there were not performing to their standards at this point in time.

"… What do you call this?" Shelby was saying loudly. "Because to me it looked like a bunch of un-oiled Tin Men squeaking around on the like complete un-coordinated, stumbling, bumbling robots! Well, except for Jessie, of course, he is always perfect and you guys should all – "

But before she could finish her sentence, Rachel and Finn walked in and Rachel yelled out, "yes, well, we all know how PERFECT Jessie is at everything, don't we?"

Shelby whipped around and stared at her daughter, while Jessie jumped up looking, if it was possible, a little scared. The rest of Vocal Adrenaline simply turned their heads and stared as Rachel and Finn drew nearer to the stage.

Shelby spoke first. "What are you doing here Rachel, darling?"

Rachel let out a high pitched laugh. "Darling? Rachel, Darling? I don't think you really have the right to call me that, Ms. C."

Shelby frowned and then said, a little loudly, "You're right. You never really felt like my daughter, anyway… it was never going to work."

Rachel nodded, her eyes blazing, but she spoke in a calm voice. "Right, especially not when you're the coach of our rival team and when you were aiming to sabotage us so there was no possible way that you could win."

Shelby sighed. "You were never going to beat us, anyway, Rachel. We all know that."

Rachel smiled. "Well, I think you under-estimate us. We may not be as well choreographed as you are, but we're just as talented vocally and I've always said that we'd win because we're different to every other showchoir out there. We don't need Jessie St. James,' (she threw Jessie a scolding look) 'to win because we have so much more going for us."

Jessie smirked. "And what's that, Rachel? Your team is a whole load of dodgy moves, mediocre singers such as Finn there and cheesy songs? They would never have gotten to where they are without you, you're the only one with talent on there, but this time, that won't be enough."

Rachel glared at him. "We are a unit. Together we are much more talented than you guys because we work together in friendship." She reaches over and grabs Finn's hand, pulling him to stand right beside her. "We're not just about competition and winning like you are. We do it for fun and because we want to be good at something, as a team. We're great because we're doing it for the love of singing and dancing, not for the shiny trophy at the end."

"Yeah, right, Rachel. I've seen how competitive you get. Winning is all that's on your mind, because you're just like me," Jessie scoffed.

"No, I'm not," Rachel said. "Maybe I used to be, but I know now that winning isn't all this is about anymore. It's about doing it for the love of it and if that means we beat you in the process, that's just a bonus."

Jessie sighed, "You won't beat us, Rachel. There's no way. You just said it yourself. If winning doesn't really matter to you, you won't win."

Rachel stared at him. "Oh, we care about winning, just not as much as you. You all forget to have fun with it, that's all I'm saying," she glared at Jessie. "You'll see. We can easily beat you, easily. You'll see."

Jessie rolled his eyes and Shelby looked at her in concern, like Rachel was sick, before saying, "Ok, Rachel, give it your best shot, but we're professionals so – "

Rachel smiled and opened her mouth to speak but Finn beat her to it.

"Exactly, you're professionals. That's exactly why we're going to win… because this means more to us than just getting another trophy, it's what we love to do, just like Rachel said," he said, smiling.

Rachel smiled at Finn and said, "See, Jessie? Mother? Finn understands me and we understand each other better than you ever could. And that's why we could never work. It was stupid to even try," she said, looking steadily at Jessie and then at her mother before saying cheerily, "see you at Regionals," and turning around back towards the doors, her hand still clinging onto Finn's, who looked back at Jessie with a large smirk on his face.

As soon as Rachel sat down in Finn's car (he opened the passenger door for her again) she burst into tears. Finn hurried around to the driver's and as soon as he sat down, he reached over and put a shaky hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"Rachel?" he asked, gently. "You really kicked butt out there, what's wrong?"

Rachel didn't answer straight away, but instead leant towards Finn and buried her head into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her there until finally her tears subsided and she leant back and looked up at him, wiping her eyes.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Finn," she mumbled. "I just suddenly felt so overwhelmed… I thought I was stronger than this… it's just hard to be saying good-bye to two people who I thought cared about me…and it turns out that they didn't…"

Finn sighed. "Oh, Rachel," he said, moving his hand forwards and wiping another tear from her eye. "I'm really sorry you have to go through with this. But you know, you don't need people who don't really care about you, do you? Besides, I know lots of people who care about you."

Rachel smiled waterly at him. "Like who?"

Finn smiled. "Well, your dads care about you a lot. And everyone in glee club cares about you, even if they don't really show it…Mr. Schuester… and I – I care about you, too."

Rachel beamed. "Thanks, Finn. You always know what to say to make me feel better."

Finn nodded, smiling. "No problem. Well, uh… should I take you home, now?"

Rachel nodded, and then mumbled, 'you know, you didn't need to beat him up."

Finn glanced at her and turned red. "I know violence is wrong and stuff… but I couldn't help myself. Nobody hurts Rachel Berry and gets away with it," He smiles at her and turns the ignition, before turning away to drive out of the parking lot.

As they drove out of the driveway, Rachel reached over and held onto Finn's spare hand, leaning back into the seat and trying to relax. But it was difficult. So much in her life had just ended and she wasn't sure how quickly she wanted everything else to begin.


	20. Faithfully: Part One

**Chapter 15: Faithfully**

**Part One**

Finn almost picked up the courage to kiss Rachel good-bye outside his car once they got to her house, but she smiled timidly at him and hugged him too quickly for him to make a move. One second her arms were around him and the next she was walking away towards her front door, calling out "see you at school tomorrow, Finn!"

Finn tried not to feel let down. He knew that a lot had been fixed between them that day, they had come a long way in a very short time and he had to be pleased with that. He just wanted to kiss Rachel so, so, badly and he didn't know how much longer he could wait to do so.

As he watched Rachel run away from him, he felt a great yearning in his chest and in his lower abdomen. He was aching so much it was like he was on fire. It hurt; it really hurt because he needed more than anything to get rid of this feeling and the only way that could ever happen was if Rachel felt the same way about him. But he didn't know if she did. He really had no idea what she was thinking about him today. He could guess, at least, that she definitely didn't hate him anymore. That was something. But it didn't feel like enough now, not after all this time. He needed more.

How long would it take her to completely trust him again? Did she need more convincing? Was it his place now to tell her everything, that Santana was the liar and not him? Would she even want to hear it? Or did she already know, but didn't care? Maybe she just really didn't ever want to be with him again.

_Yeah, that's probably it. _

Oh, not _you _again!

_Hi, Finn! My other half! How are you?_

What do you think? Do you think I look okay?

_No. But that might have something to do with you standing outside of your car staring at a house like a complete idiot. People probably think you're psycho._

Oh. Right. I should probably leave.

_Duh._

Finn sighed and got into his car, driving away from Rachel's house and towards his own. He didn't want to have a conversation with his weird little voice in his head, but it seemed he couldn't sort himself out any other way.

What should I do?

_About what?_

Rachel! What should I do about Rachel?

_Forget about her. She doesn't love you anyway._

How do you know? Maybe… maybe she –

_Yeah, maybe. In a world where pigs can fly. _

You know, you're a bit of an asshole. No wonder people think I'm an idiot sometimes.

_Hey, that has nothing to do with me, dude._

Whatever. But, man, what if you're wrong? What if there is a crazy world where someone like Rachel is totally, completely in love with me?

_Take my word for it. There isn't. And anyway, why would you want her to be 'completely in love' with you. You don't love her that much anyway, do you?_

Do I?

_You don't do you?_

I – no – maybe – I – don't – no – yes – no! – I don't know – I – yes I am.

_Holy shit. You're in love with Rachel._

Yes. I always have been… I've always known… I just never really took it in until now… wow… wow… wow… wow…

_You're bumbling like an idiot. How do you know you're in love with her?_

I'm aching all over.

_Yeah so? _

That's true love, I know it! That's how I know. God.

_Seriously?_

Yes!

_You're a love sick puppy; I don't see how I haven't realised that before. I just thought it was a crush you were going to get over…_

Me, too… but, it – it hasn't gone anywhere! It's been here since the first time I saw her… I can see it all, now…

_Well, that's bloody brilliant._

I'M IN LOVE WITH HER! I'M IN LOVE WITH RACHEL BERRY. WOW!

_Why are you getting excited about this? This is a catastrophe!_

No, it's not! It's brilliant. Everything actually makes sense now. Man I'm slow!

_Dude, sorry to interrupt your musings, but this is terrible._

What? Why?

_What, did you just expect that because you're IN LOVE with Rachel that she's in love with you too? Trust me, you're in for some heartbreak, dude._

Oh…yeah…

_So, you should just forget about her and find someone more… ditsy. Like Brittany._

Why would I want to go out with Brittany? She's stupider than me!

_Exactly!_

No. No. I see what you're saying, man, but I can't just let this go. This is love, real, flipping love!

_Oh, jeez._

I have to tell her and sod it all! If she doesn't feel the same… then I've really lost, but what if she does? I'll be the happiest dude in the world!

_Good luck with that._

I AM COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH RACHEL BERRY! LIKE, FOREVER!

_Forever?_

OF COURSE! I LOVE RACHEL BERRY FOREVER!

_Yes, okay, gotcha. I heard you the first time, you idiot. _

Rachel couldn't sleep that night. She was thinking too hard about everything that had happened today. Jessie… her mother… Finn…

_Finn. _His name was like music to her ears, but she wasn't sure what she wanted to do about that. He was truly everything that she wanted, but when was it right to get everything you wanted? Did she deserve it? Did she deserve someone as amazing as her, after all this time that she had hated him and all he'd been trying to do is make it up to her and she had never listened…

Of course he wasn't dating Santana behind her back. He hadn't actually told her himself, but she could see it in his eyes that he hadn't. She should have known. Santana was a bitch, how could she ever believe her over the golden heart of Finn Hudson?

She remembered then the feeling of Finn's hand in hers in the car. Even as she battled with her feelings and thoughts, she could feel that that was where her hand truly belonged.

She had always known she was in love with Finn. Ever since she had first seen him. It was just something that wouldn't go away, no matter how hard she tried, and boy, had she tried!

But, even if she could be honest with herself, knowing that she loved Finn, what was she going to do about it?

The whole debacle with Jessie felt strange within her. She had really thought for so long that Jessie truly loved her and was much more trust worthy and safe compared to Finn. But she had been wrong. How could she admit that to herself? She felt like she'd betrayed her heart this whole time by listening to her head. Her stupid head, so scared of true love and trust that she'd thrown herself into the arms of someone she barely knew? It didn't make sense, why had she done it? Finn was the one she wanted; she had always known that and lying to herself about it had just ended up making everything worse rather than making everything better.

She wanted to be with Finn so badly she could barely control it. But she knew she had to try. Going full swing into another relationship just wasn't a good idea right now.

Rachel sighed and thought about Regional's. She had promised Jessie that they would beat him, but could they? Every time she thought about Regionals (which was in 7 days!) her stomach fluttered with nerves. She wanted to win and see Jessie's shocked face so much. She wanted to laugh in his face so badly it hurt. But she just wasn't sure if they could pull it off. Was it possible that they, a Glee Club put together under a year ago, could beat such a professional team that had been together for years and years?

She just didn't know, but she was going to try with all her might to make it work, no matter how hard she had to work at it. And in the mean time, she was going to rekindle her friendship with Finn even more and in time, she was going to make him hers again.

Smiling to herself, Rachel settled down to sleep. It was going to be a long week.


	21. Faithfully: Part Two

**Chapter 15: Faithfully**

**Part Two**

The atmosphere in the choir room the next day was fueled with the nervous jitters. Everyone was jumpy, snappy and blank faced as they came to realise how close Regionals now seemed to be.

Every now and then, Artie would wheel himself towards the door and bush into it a few times, collect himself and wheel away, but only to repeat that pattern again and again, as if he'd realised a new problem. Kurt was swinging his leg backwards and forwards he kept nearly hitting Brittany in the head (she never noticed because she was too busy looking dazed). Tina was doing a terribly good job of maintaining her formerly pretend stutter (it didn't seem so pretend at this point in time) whenever she opened her mouth (though this wasn't too often, so maybe it's too hard to tell.) Puck was sitting with crossed arms, looking glumly in front of him and he didn't even bother to pass cynical smirks to anyone who glanced at him. Quinn was holding her pregnant stomach like it was life blanket, her face grim with anxiety and Santana sat bolt upright, her eyes narrowed and moving around the room so fast it was like they were blurred.

Mr. Schue, Finn and Rachel were late. Perhaps it was the mere absence of the Glee Club's co-captains and teacher that had the other members in such a fix, but nevertheless, there was no doubting the pressure they were all under now that they had lost Jessie St. James only days before Regionals.

Finally, Rachel and Finn entered the room together, followed closely by Mr. Schue, and stood before the others in a line. Mr. Schue looked around sympathetically at them all (all of whom were still practicing their anxiety reflexes as if they hadn't noticed them come in) and Finn panned his eyes briefly around the room before nodding at Rachel and whispering into her ear, "go for it, Rachel, I can't stand seeing them like this."

Rachel nodded and took a deep breath before clearing her throat. "Fellow Glee Clubbers please listen up,' she said in a clear voice. Most of them looked back at her expectantly (Artie even discontinued his bashing of the wall to listen) and she smiled brightly at them. 'I know more than anybody how badly we all feel, but we cannot let Vocal Adrenaline, or any members we previously thought were our own, to bring us down. We are New Directions. A unique showchoir that strives on friendship, team work and the love of singing and dance. I have always said that we have the ability to beat Vocal Adrenaline because we are different, and I stand by that. We're special and that is the best thing about us. And because of it, we should not let the Professionals walk all over us. We are better than all of them and by remembering that, we can beat them!"

Everyone is looking at Rachel more intently now, taking in everything she is saying. Kurt stops kicking his leg and gets up from his chair, walking towards them to the front of the class while saying "well said, Rachel. I agree completely. We're being stupid sitting around like this; we need to be taking action and I say we work hard to bring those money munching fools down!"

Rachel smiles at Kurt and Finn gives him a high five, cheering 'hear, hear!' and grinning over at Rachel happily.

"So, then, what do we do?" Artie asks, raising his hand.

"All we can do is to try our best," Finn answered, "no matter how cheesy that sounds."

'B- but what if our b-best isn't g-good enough?" asked Tina.

"Yeah, your speech was nice and all, Rachel, but I think there's no way in hell we're going to be able to top Vocal Adrenaline," Puck said.

"And there's always the chance my water will break while we're performing," Quinn said, quietly.

Everyone grimaced and Mr. Schue spoke up. "Look guys, Finn and Rachel – "Kurt clears his throat – "oh, and of course, Kurt, are right. We just have to figure out a plan of action, then get out there and do our best and if our best doesn't make us win, we just have to be pleased with how far we've all come together over the year. And if it means we can't have Glee Club here anymore, we could always do it on the sidelines."

Everyone nods in agreement. Rachel smiles around at everyone and spoke again. "Alright, guys, we really need to come up with our set list. What do people think we should do?"

Kurt speaks up at once. "As our first triumph together, back when there was just 6 of us, I think it would be amazing if we did "Don't Stop Believin'", though we should change it to fit in the 12 of us."

Finn nods enthusiastically."Yeah that's a perfect idea and, actually, it brings me onto an even more perfect idea. Rachel and I have, secretly, decided on a song we'd like to sing as a duet and it happens to be by Journey, too… so, what do people think of doing a Journey Mash-Up?"

Everyone cheers. "Sounds great, Finn," Mr. Schue commented, giving him a high five.

Rachel laughs and says, "I can see this being absolutely amazing! What should our other songs be? "

"Easy," Puck said. "'Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" he said, grinning widely.

"Ok, yeah," Finn said, nodding enthusiastically again.

Artie raised his hand, "I think that would work perfectly with "Anyway You Want It", we can really mash those up."

Rachel grinned at him, "sounds perfect. Let's get stuck into it!"

Everyone clapped and started jumping up from their seats onto the floor.

Finn turned to Rachel and squeezed her hand, smiling down at her. "Well done, Rach, I knew you could work this out."

Rachel smiled up at him and shook her head, "Not just me, us. We're working this out together, being the true leaders that we are." She squeezed his hand and Finn blushed happily, as they both turned back towards their friends and began rehearsing.

_40 minutes ago_

Finn found Rachel on her way to Glee rehearsals the next day walking along and looking at her feet. She looked terribly depressed and nervous and Finn rushed up to her as soon as he saw her, not really knowing what to say but knowing full well that he was going to give it his best shot.

He hadn't slept at all the night before, because he couldn't stop rehearsing what he was going to say to Rachel and how she would respond. He practiced and practiced different versions of the speech in his head and it drove him so crazy that he had to get up to write them all down, but that didn't really help either.

But, as it turns out, all that planning was useless because as soon as he saw Rachel there, looking so down and anxious, he knew exactly what to say.

"Hey, Rachel," he called, dashing up to meet her as she descended the stairs towards the choir room. She looked up when she heard her name, blushed when she saw him and smiled timidly at him.

"Hello, Finn, how are you?" she asked, stopping in front of him on the bottom stair as he met her.

"I'm ok, yeah, but how are you, Rachel?" Finn asked, gently, "You don't look so great."

Rachel shook her head. "N – no, I'm fine."

Finn smiled at her. "Rachel, I can tell when you're lying. Tell me what's wrong. You know you can say anything to me."

Rachel sighed and nodded. "I'm – I'm just so worried… After everything that's happened… I'm just not sure if we can win at Regional's… and… no matter how much I hate saying this, I can't help but feel sorry for myself for actually trusting Jessie and my mother."

Finn frowned and looked intently at her. "Rachel, the only people that should feel sorry for themselves is them. They lost you didn't you? Losing you is the worst punishment they could ever get. You are worth a lot more than that."

Rachel smiled. "You think so?"

Finn grinned. "Of course. I've told you before that you're the most talented person I've ever met, and I wasn't lying, but you're much more than that, Rachel. Your really, really special and I know how it feels to lose you and it's not something I recommend for anyone, that's for sure. I've been such a fool… losing you over and over again…."

Rachel blushed and looked down. "But… but, Finn – you never really lost me. I got angry for awhile, but that wasn't your fault. It was mine. I always knew you never lied to me about Santana… I was just scared… of how strongly I felt for you." She looked back up at him and smiled.

Finn blushed, too. "Really...well, as bad as losing you was for me, it was also a lesson because it made me see just how important you are to me, Rachel," he smiled. "And I promise you this, Rachel, we are going to Regional's and we are going to win!"

Rachel stared at him for a moment and then, as if transfixed, she leant towards Finn and kissed him on the mouth, laying her hands on his shoulders for support.

Finn's eyes widened (he'd had a lot more to say and hadn't expected this to happen quite so quickly, if at all) before he closed his eyes, drew Rachel closer to him and deepened the kiss. Rachel's lips tasted amazing and this was so unlike the other kisses they'd ever shared together. If he'd had more sense, he should have kissed her like this when she kissed him when they went bowling together, all those months ago. He wrapped his arms tighter around her and she seemed to shiver a little in his arms. They kissed for a few more moments and then, too soon, Rachel drew away and smiled nervously at him.

"Thanks, Finn," she said, leaning back to study his face from a distance.

"For what?" Finn asked, dazed.

Rachel smiled. "Just… for being you. Come on, let's go to rehearsals. It's time we, as co-captains, once again lead our Glee Club to victory."

She reached down and grabbed Finn's hand and grinning stupidly, he let her lead him towards the future.


	22. Faithfully: Part Three

**Chapter 15: Faithfully**

**Part 3**

Present Time

"So, Finn, you said, before, that we came up with a song to sing as a duet? I didn't want to embarrass you by pointing out that I had no part in it, but, why did you say we both came up with it?" Rachel asked Finn as they left the choir room after quite a fulfilling rehearsal.

Finn stopped walking, turned towards her and smiled at her sheepishly. "Sorry, I guess I should have said I'd thought of it… I just hope you approve of it, Rachel."

Rachel smiled. "Of course I'll approve of it. You've already proven how good you are at choosing appropriate, brilliant songs for the Glee club."

Finn looked down at his feet. "It's actual… it's actually my favourite love song."

Rachel blushed and cleared her throat. "Umm… what's it called?"

"Faithfully," Finn answered, looking up at her.

Rachel turned even redder. "Oh, Finn. Wow. I love that song. It's perfect!"

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Finn grinned at her and sighed. "I'm glad."

He reached forwards to cup her cheek with his hand and placed his other hand on her waist, drawing her nearer to him.

Rachel looked at him with an odd expression on her face. It was shocked, love struck and also frightened.

Finn drew her so close she was pressing firmly into his body and he brought his lips closer and closer to hers.

For Rachel it felt like an old movie. Everything was still, like it was all running in slow motion. It was getting too much, far, far too much. It was all going way, way too fast. Rachel couldn't breathe. Finn was so close; it was intoxicating and too good to be true. But it was too soon. She didn't want this to begin yet. She needed… she needed time. It was so hard, but she knew – or at least her mind seemed to know – that she needed timeout.

Just as Finn's lips were about to press down onto Rachel's and give her that wonderful, strong throb ringing all through her body at his touch, Rachel drew sharply away from him. One minute they were close together and the next it was like they were meters apart.

Finn stared at Rachel in shock and hurt and Rachel stared back at him, looking frightened and guilty.

"I – I'm – ", Rachel mumbled, looking at him. "I'm sorry, Finn… you're wonderful… but, I – I just can't do this right now," she said, quietly and then she looked away from him and ran off, tears trickling a little out of her eyes.

Finn, as he so often did – it was probable that Finn had spent most of his 16th year in this position – stood there looking after Rachel for some time, wondering what on earth had just happened.

Everything had seemed to be going brilliantly between them all day, much better than he could ever expect. But he never would have expected this. What had just happened? She had been so into kissing him earlier and in Glee rehearsals, she kept putting her hand on his arm at every given opportunity, and even, sometimes, when she had no real reason to. They'd laughed together and smiled at each other and Finn had felt so happy. The happiest in a long time.

But now he felt like the happiness was being sucked out of him again. It was uncanny how much Rachel could change his day from being heavenly to being hell. All it showed was just how much he loved her, though, most the time, his love for Rachel didn't seem to be helping him much.

What in the hell happened?

_You scared her away because you're so pathetic, man._

Why did she just run away from me? Again?

_I mean, seriously, pull those moves on anyone and I'd bet they'd puke all over your stupid flannel shirts._

Everything was going so well… she kissed me first… what did I do wrong?

_Nothing. This is the fault of your mother and father deciding to have sex on a pinball machine. I mean, who does that?_

I am so confused… I thought… I thought we were back together again…

_You're not listening to me, are you?_

Huh?

_Oh, so I do exist for you. Amazing._

Funny… do you have any crackpot idea to why she's doing this to me? And, hey, don't lay off about my parents!

_Whatever. And sure, easy. But first I'm going to ask you some questions._

Okay…

_What do you think Rachel is feeling right now?_

About what?

_You know, everything that's happened to her lately._

Umm… Jessie and her mother and stuff?

_Correct. Point for the dumb ass._

I dunno… she'd be really upset. They betrayed her.

_Right. So, how are you helping her in that situation by making sexual moves on her?_

What? She's the one that kissed me first!

_As a thank you kiss! And possibly a rebound._

I am not a rebound! Rachel cares about me!

_Sure, sure. Anyhow… that girl doesn't need you making moves on her right now. She's fragile as it is._

So, she's allowed to kiss me… but I'm not allowed to kiss her?

_Yes. She is the one going through a break up._

I know, but…. she hooked me as soon as I broke up with Quinn so…

_And how did that help you?_

Right. Yeah. It didn't. So, what should I do now?

_Just be her friend again, like you used to. Without any sexual contact!_

Right. I can do that. Just pretend everything's normal. Everything's normal. We can be friends again, yeah. Good idea, man!

_Thank you. Glad you like one of my ideas._

What? I like plenty of your ideas! I mean, you are me, aren't you?

_No way. Though if I was, which I'm not… I'm the better half._

In your dreams.

_No, in yours._

That doesn't make any sense…

_Yes it does. Because I'm so good, you dream about how good I am in your sleep!_

But… I don't. I'm the better half. So, I dream about me being the better half, not you, because you're not the better half.

_Well… just keep dreaming that, lover boy._

I will.

_Be ready for disappointment._

In your dreams.

_Too right. But its reality, baby. You'll see._

Shut up!

Rachel didn't sleep that night – a lot of nights seemed to be like this these days – and spent the afternoon alone in her room, listening to music and trying to convince herself that what she had done was the right thing.

She felt really guilty for doing that to Finn. She'd wanted badly to kiss him, but she knew… deep down… that it was not the time.

She needed her time to fully recover from Jessie and the drama with her mother. She didn't love Jessie anymore, but still, there was something very hurtful about the end of the relationship, especially seeing as it was Jessie's fault.

And she knew how bad it was for Finn to head straight into a relationship with her after Quinn's betrayal… that certainly hadn't lead their relationship to anywhere good in the end.

She knew she would have to explain everything to Finn. She loved him so much, but she just didn't want to go right into a relationship with him again just yet. She felt horrible, because she knew Finn had been waiting for her for a very long time, but if he really loved her, she knew he could definitely wait awhile longer, just until she could get herself back onto her feet.

She would have to talk to Finn very soon, before Regionals, but she wasn't sure how to do it. Especially now that they would be singing "Faithfully" together, which was probably going to make things a little awkward.

She sighed as she lay on her pillow, her heart thumping in her chest. When she told him what was wrong and why she had ran away from him, again, it had t o be perfect. Could she do it tomorrow? Could she get it all out so quickly, when she had no idea how she was going to word it and how he would react.

What if he got really angry and decided to go date a girl who'd have him now? What if he said he couldn't wait for her any longer? What if he said that it had been a mistake and he'd rather they'd be friends always, anyway? What if, what if?

Maybe she could just pretend that nothing happened for a bit, while she worked her strength up to speak to him properly, and work on their friendship some more. It was mean, but it was likely that Finn would appreciate the idea that Rachel had forgotten about it and would be willing to forget about it himself in exchange of a healthy friendship between them.

Would it work? Rachel had no idea, but as she tried drifting off to sleep, she thought that, for now, it was all she could do.


	23. Faithfully: Part Four

**Chapter 15: Faithfully**

**Part 4**

Finn nervously sat in the choir room the next day, waiting for the others to turn up for rehearsals. Mostly he was anticipating Rachel coming in through the door, wondering what she would do when she saw him and how things would be between them. He felt sick. His stomach was a heap of butterflies, his teeth wouldn't stop chattering and his leg wouldn't stop bouncing up and down like a pogo stick.

But he found that he needn't have worried. When Rachel walked in the door she smiled steadily at him and walked over to where he was sitting and sat down beside him.

"Hey, Finn, all set for rehearsing 'Faithfully' today? I can't wait to get started!"

Finn smiled at her and drew a deep breath. "Yeah, it's going to be terrific. Terrific."

Rachel smiled happily at him and the rest of the glee club entered the room, chattering away and ready for another successful day of rehearsals.

The next few days went by quickly, but efficiently. The Glee club practiced their Journey Medley together as much as possible and everything was going quite well. Sure, there were a few upsets, such as Quinn occasionally getting sp nervous about her oncoming due date that she sometimes couldn't rehearse with them and had to give her solos to Santana. But, mostly, they were all working well together, a unit better than ever before.

Finn and Rachel continued to act as if nothing romantic had recently happened to them and were acting like the best of friends (and there was no doubt that they were, too).

It was annoying Finn though, that Rachel could be so adamant to not explain what had happened between them. He thought, obviously, that Rachel understood that you couldn't lock things away and expect that they'd stay there forever. He spent most nights thinking up ways he could get her to talk, but was yet to try any of them in fear of what, exactly, she might say. But he knew what he had to say to her and before Regionals', he promised himself that he would get it all out.

As the days passed, Rachel was finding it more and more difficult to resist Finn. He was so friendly and kind to her and so good on the eyes too, she'd find herself staring at him longingly for minutes at a time. Somehow, Jessie's face would creep in and she'd remind herself to why she was waiting, but it was very difficult. She knew she had to speak to Finn about what had happened soon, but that was even more difficult than resisting him. Yes, for once, Rachel really didn't have a clue what she was doing.

On the day of Regional's, Rachel got herself up nice and early and was the first to arrive at the school to wait out the front for the bus.

Today was the day. They day they'd all been working towards ever since they joined up at the start of the year. It was also the day that Rachel was going to hand over her pride and tell Finn everything.

Rachel felt excited and nervous. It was bubbling up out of her that she couldn't stop shivering (even though it wasn't cold at all) and dancing up and down with enthusiasm. She couldn't believe this day was finally here and she couldn't wait to see Finn, though she was dreading that at the same time.

But Finn didn't come till last, when they were all loading themselves onto the bus. He sprinted up and jumped onto the bus, his face rosy and a nervous grin plastered on it looking around at them all, and then finally, at her.

"Hey, Rachel," he said, loudly, walking over towards her and sitting down beside her in the two seater. His arm rested against her arm and she jumped a little at the sudden contact. "All ready for the big day?"

She smiled. "Yes, I think I am. I think it's definitely probable that we can win, so I'm excited… I'm so excited to see the look on Jessie's face!"

Finn grinned and patted her arm. "Me too, Rach, me too."

"Alright, guys, are we all set?" Asked Mr. Schue, standing up at the front of the bus to look down at all of them.

"Yes!" everyone cheered, most enthusiastically but some sounded unsure.

Mr. Schue nodded. "Don't worry guys; I know you're going to be great. You've all got it in you to win and if we don't get that far, it's no big deal as long as you've all tried your best. We could still place second, which will get us to Nationals and keep the club running."

Everyone nodded and Mr. Schue clapped his hands. "Alright, let's get this party started!"

Kurt and Puck rolled their eyes, but cheered along with everyone else and they left the curb and drove down the road laughing together.

About half way through the trip, however, all chattering and laughter seemed to melt away and everyone became silent, concentrating on keeping their cool and going over the dance moves and lyrics in their heads.

Finn sat close to Rachel the whole trip, occasionally smiling at her, but mostly looking straight ahead, his mouth mouthing the words to all of the songs and his feet and arms occasionally moving around as he practiced the dance steps.

He may have looked like he was concentrating on the outside, but inside he was thinking over and over again about how nice Rachel felt lightly pressed against his side and what he was going to tell her later.

Rachel was much the same. She sat staring out of the window, humming under her breath, but her mind was fumbling with her imagination of the shocked look on Jessie's face she so wished to see and what she hoped wasn't Finn's reaction to what she knew she had to tell him. It didn't help that Finn was pressed up against her, of course, because that was making it very difficult to go ahead with what she needed to say to him. He felt so nice and warm… how could she willingly turn away from that when it was what she really wanted... it was the right thing to do right now… but… what would he say?

The arrived at the theatre where Regional's was being held after the half an hour drive and they all tumbled out of the bus and gazed up at the building. It looked pretty magnicifant, Finn thought, wishing he could be living somewhere like that… Though, Kurt's home was pretty big, too.

He grinned over at Kurt and smiled at Puck before swinging his arm boisterously over Rachel's shoulder and leading the group towards the entrance with her at his side, where she truly belonged.

Once inside, they gathered at the front desk and soon enough filed into the auditorium to watch Aural Intensity's first performance. Afterwards, New Directions felt a lot better. They'd never expected much from this club, and though they did surprise them by being pretty good, they knew they could beat them.

But then, after a 15 minute break, it was time for Vocal Adrenaline to perform. Rachel flinched as they walked on and grabbed at Finn's hand. He glanced over at her in sympathy and gave her hand a comforting squeeze. She smiled slightly, but kept her eyes looking straight ahead as Vocal Adrenaline began their piece.

They were amazing and Jessie's voice sounded better than ever before. Finn liked the song, too, and he wished he had a strong enough voice to sing it.

At the end of the song, Rachel sighed loudly. "Well," she said, standing up quickly, "I thought I could handle that… but…" she trailed off, looking at Finn in fright before running off and out the door.

Finn jumped up quickly and ran after her, yelling out as he went, "I'll handle this" to the rest of the Glee club, who looked after them in concern.

It took Finn awhile to find Rachel. Even though he had jumped up as soon as she'd run off, she had certainly made it difficult for anyone to find her.

But eventually he did. She was hiding in a little storeroom beside the dressing rooms, huddled in a corner and crying softly.

Finn rushed over to her and swung his arm around her, rubbing his hand on her shoulder. She seemed to tense a little when she felt him hold her, but eventually she relaxed and turned her head to rest in the crook of his shoulder.

He shifted and wrapped his arms more firmly around her, rubbing her back gently until her breathing slowed and her tears subsided.

After sometime, she looked up at him and smiled weakly. Moving away from him and wiping her eyes, she mumbled, "sorry, Finn… I'm being stupid… thanks for… for coming to look for me…" She looked away from him and down towards the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs.

Finn sighed, and watched her intently before speaking. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Rachel and you're not being stupid. You're not in the wrong here, remember?"

Rachel nodded slightly and wiped her eye again. "Right… but, that doesn't make me not feel awful…. I mean, did you see how good they were? How good – how good – he was? Like he doesn't even care?"

Finn nodded. "I know it hurts Rachel, but its true and you know it. He's selfish. And you keep beating yourself up for it, when he doesn't deserve your pain."

Rachel looked at him and nodded. "I know, your right… it's just so hard… to forget… all the lies…"

"I know," Finn nodded. "I find it hard, too. But I think I've over that now."

Rachel chewed her lip. "I keep forgetting you've been wronged, too. How do you get over it?"

Finn sighed and shrugged. "I don't know… You've got to try and forget. You've just go on to better things."

Rachel sighed. "Is that possible?"

Finn nodded. "It worked for me. You just have to find that one special person that will help you get over it. You know, the one person that means more to you than anything."

Rachel stared at him. "And who's that… for you?"

Finn turned red, cleared his throat and said, quietly, "you."

"Me?" Rachel breathed.

"Of course," Finn said, looking at her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Who else?"

Rachel stared at him for a second and then whispered, "I think for me… it's you, too" before moving her face closer and closer towards him. Their lips almost touched when Finn gently put his hand under her chin to stop her moving closer.

"What?" she asked, looking up at him. "Don't you want me to kiss you?"

Finn smiled at her. "Of course I do, but, Rachel, you're not ready."

Rachel stared at him and looked down. "Oh, I see," she said.

Finn laughed a little at her sad look and looked sheepishly at her when she looked up and glared a little at him.

He cleared his throat and put his straight face on again. "Sorry. But, Rachel, you should know you're not ready to be in a relationship with me yet. I realised it a few days ago… after that happened…"

Rachel blushed and interrupted him. "I know… that's why I didn't let you kiss me… I knew I needed some time…but I was scared of what… you would say…"

Finn nodded. "Take as much time as you need, Rachel, that's all I need to say, because you're worth waiting for. We can just take this as slow as we can, ok?"

Rachel blushed and nodded. "Thanks, Finn, this really means a lot. You're the best, you really are."

"Not problem, so are you," Finn grinned, jumping up and holding out his hand for Rachel to grab. She looked at it stupidly. Finn cleared his throat. "Uh… I don't mean to startle you, but we really need to go and get changed…we're on in like, 15 minutes or something so…"

Rachel quickly grabbed his hand and they dashed out of the door and into their dressing rooms, looking back and grinning back at each other as they walked backwards through the doors.

They didn't end up winning Regional's, but in the end, it didn't really matter to them. They still placed second which meant they could go to Nationals, anyway.

Rachel didn't get to see Jessie's shocked face, but somehow, she managed to push his triumphant face out of her mind as soon as she felt Finn's comforting arm wrap around her shoulders.

New Directions was still on a high. They had performed to their best ability. Finn and Rachel's 'Faithfully' was so magical (they both couldn't stop smiling about it whenever they thought of it) and the other songs were just as amazing. And when Finn and Rachel bear hugged at the end of their performances, they felt like they were on cloud nine. It was such a great feeling that they already felt like they'd won.

It didn't matter too much that Quinn was rushed off to hospital with Puck to have a baby that was never Finn's to care for, because he had Rachel beside him and squeezing his hand.

It didn't matter too much to Rachel that Jessie tried to talk to her after the winners were announced with a smirk worthy apology on his face because Finn was there to swing his arm around her and whisk her away.

And nothing much mattered as they sat in the choir room the next day, Rachel's head on Finn's shoulder, because they were slowly being together and looking forward to the time together they had to look forward to. Nothing could burst their happy bubble.

Or could it?

…_to be continued. _

**~So…. That's the end! Hope you enjoyed reading and I am sorry about the cliffhanger… but…I couldn't resist =P I am nearing (definitely next week sometime) beginning to write the sequel to this, so don't fret, more will be coming soon!**

**Also, sorry about those two chapters with all the 'parts'… it was the only way I could work through enormous chapters without killing myself! Haha. Keep gleeking!~**


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